I don't think I can post it to the comm as a B2MeM fic because it doesn't answer to any of the prompts. But not being able to resist when people encouraged me was how I got into this in the first place, so perhaps I should either unlock it or post it somewhere else.

If I do, do you want credit for inspiring this travesty? ;) No offense if you don't. I just want to be conscientious.