Elleth, I have read this and re-read it again. Why? Because Children's Game is that good! It takes skill to create a short fic that plunges the reader deep into a secondary world that connects poignantly to our primary one. There's a timeless theme here: women and girls awaiting word of the outcomes of war, and you capture that effectively in this story with its fleshed-out and utterly believable women, these textual ghosts that you have brought to life.
As others have noted, the little details contribute to world-building so well, and in a short story, you show the reader a LOT, i.e., the positions of power that Meril and Alphangil hold, and clearly, they are powerful women. Alphangil is a bit eerie, too, with a touch of the fay in her visions. Oh! And yes, that glimpse that there is conflict in her marriage to Fingon due to Maedhros...excellent!
Your narrator's voice draws me in, and the image of Mírwain watching the children play a game while elsewhere, the world crashes around their fathers and brothers, sets the tone perfectly for the entire story. Then there's her fear for Gwindor and then the awful discovery of Gelmir's fate. re: They... used him to draw forth the host into attack before its time. *shudders* Good. Very good.
And this...
"My mother's mother claimed that all the blood and all the stories of the wars would trickle from the battlefields in the north, and into the sea. Listen. Perhaps the sea has comfort for you, Mirwain," said Alphangil.
Their feet were in the surf now. The water licked at the hem of her dress.
"Perhaps for all of us," said Meril. "Perhaps." She did not sound as though she believed it.
Mirwain said, reminded of her own childhood tales, "There will be. There has to be. They say the Ainulindalë lives in the sea forever. All the fates of the Children."
I love it, in particular the bolded. That is one of my most cherished motifs of The Silmarillion: the connection of the Children of Iluvátar to the Sea and Ulmo's watch over Men and Elves. This provides a satisfying conclusion to the story, bringing it full circle, as Mírwain casts aside her misgivings of the Sea, to which the blood of fallen warriors and the tales of war flow (god, I love that) and seeks comfort in a dreadful time with Alphangil and Meril by playing this children's game.
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As others have noted, the little details contribute to world-building so well, and in a short story, you show the reader a LOT, i.e., the positions of power that Meril and Alphangil hold, and clearly, they are powerful women. Alphangil is a bit eerie, too, with a touch of the fay in her visions. Oh! And yes, that glimpse that there is conflict in her marriage to Fingon due to Maedhros...excellent!
Your narrator's voice draws me in, and the image of Mírwain watching the children play a game while elsewhere, the world crashes around their fathers and brothers, sets the tone perfectly for the entire story. Then there's her fear for Gwindor and then the awful discovery of Gelmir's fate. re: They... used him to draw forth the host into attack before its time. *shudders* Good. Very good.
And this...
"My mother's mother claimed that all the blood and all the stories of the wars would trickle from the battlefields in the north, and into the sea. Listen. Perhaps the sea has comfort for you, Mirwain," said Alphangil.
Their feet were in the surf now. The water licked at the hem of her dress.
"Perhaps for all of us," said Meril. "Perhaps." She did not sound as though she believed it.
Mirwain said, reminded of her own childhood tales, "There will be. There has to be. They say the Ainulindalë lives in the sea forever. All the fates of the Children."
I love it, in particular the bolded. That is one of my most cherished motifs of The Silmarillion: the connection of the Children of Iluvátar to the Sea and Ulmo's watch over Men and Elves. This provides a satisfying conclusion to the story, bringing it full circle, as Mírwain casts aside her misgivings of the Sea, to which the blood of fallen warriors and the tales of war flow (god, I love that) and seeks comfort in a dreadful time with Alphangil and Meril by playing this children's game.