It's intriguing but somewhat obscure for me to grasp. You note it is related to another story. I do not think I would categorize it as "easily" standing alone. I would like to read more about this situation and the characters as you write them. I will follow the link to the story you note above. It is successful in that it does make me want to know more.

ETA: Ah, yes! I did read the other story before and liked it. You say, "I just keep coming back to the visions and Foresight thing . . . ." I think there is reason for that. I think you still have more of this story to share. Don't stop here.