Book Blurbs – Bird Talk

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

B2MeM Prompt and Path: Limited palette (blue path: artwork)
Format: digital art, with written copy
Genre: AU, humor
Rating: Gen
Warnings: no warnings apply
Characters: Celegorm
Pairings: none so far
Creator’s Notes (optional): Chapter 5 – Bird Talk - Known for his popular TV show “Shut Up and Listen,” specialist in bird behavior from early childhood Turko Fëanárion insists that his methods work with the most resistant birds and the clumsiest of humans. Get all the details in this water-resistant 100-page paperback guide.
Summary:
These blurbs are written by a reader who is on the mailing lists of far too many publishing companies. Why not use some of the dozens of prompts of yet another annual B2MeM to design covers or ads, write ad copy, review, or draft summaries of books I would not be likely to write?

Bird Talk




Bird photo in public domain; US Fish and Wildlife Barred Owl.

Comments

[zdenka]

This made me smile. I like the idea of Celegorm as some kind of bird communication expert.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

I think it's canon that Celegorm talks to birds and animals. If not, it is hardcore fanon deeply embedded in my consciousness!

Oh, found it!

"Celegorm went rather to the house of Oromë, and there he got great knowledge of birds and beasts, and all their tongues he knew." The Silmarillion. "Quenta Silmarillion: Of Eldamar and the Princes of the Eldalië."

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

To the names Turcafinwë, Tyelcormo, and Celegorm we can now add Dr. Doolittle :)

[shirebound]

*beams* Love it.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Shirebound! These are so much fun to make. My life is far too serious sometimes. It's nice to just be silly.

[sashahoneypalm.livejournal.com]

"Clumsiest of humans", huh? Was that "humans" as in Incarnates in general, or do Elves think it's such a big deal to be able to talk to mortals? ;)

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Stop!! These do not stand up to syntactic analysis or fact checking! But to answer the question if was intended as a real question, Celegorm considers Elves and Mortals both to be human.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Thanks for commenting! I got a kick out of your remarks!

[foxrafer.livejournal.com]

Known for his popular TV show “Shut Up and Listen,” I love this.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It was fun doing it.

[dreamflower]

"Shut Up and Listen" ought to be a real TV show! That's advice that a lot of people could use, whether they want to talk to birds or not.

But I love the idea of an Elf teaching people to speak to birds--it's adorable!

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Thanks again, Dreamflower! I really needed to just relax this B2MeM and these have been fun to make. I love the idea of him trying to make it easy and common sense for people to do things that are generally considered high-fantasy Elf stuff.

[lindahoyland.livejournal.com]

Love it!

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much, Linda!

[just-jenni.livejournal.com]

Again...hilarious! :D

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Celegorm is one of my absolute favs for Huan and his animal and forest business! So I love the idea of him being like a forester version of the Horse Whisperer or a Noldorin version of the Australian nature guy Steve Irwin.

[kayleelupin.livejournal.com]

*giggles* I love everything about this. (And I usually don't like Celegorm on principle, but this is his adorable side. Who knew he had one?!)

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Celegorm is one of my favorite characters. Tolkien drew him with contradictions which give him a complexity which is unusual even among the sons of Feanor, none of which are simple villians with no shades of gray.

Thanks for looking. I am happy you found something to like about it.

[kayleelupin.livejournal.com]

*Kaylee's Donut-muse looks thoughtfully at the Celegorm* Mine.

Yours, Donut?

Donut: Mine! *gives Celegorm a fish*

Hmm. :D Maybe he's just pleased Celegorm wrote a book about birds? *pets seagull, and hopes Oshun is having as good a time as I am with B2MEM* ^_^ (I actually have written at least one story with Celegorm in, now I think about it...well, co-written...but it scares me. *shudder* The fall of Doriath will do that.)

[dawn_felagund]

OMG. These are killing me! You are on far too many mailing lists! You're nailing every one.

And look at Tyelko all spit and polish for his book jacket photo! :D

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Curvo probably encouraged him to get a haircut for that photo!

It's ridiculous how many of these blurbs I read a week between email notifications and my Twitter which is nothing but publishing companies. I never use Twitter, I just scan occasionally for news of the book world. (Like I might need it some day! Ha!)

Fortunately, I do not have to nitpick these carefully, because the real world ones are not very well done!

[starbrow.livejournal.com]

This is fantastic, I giggled my head off. Celegorm's TV show would be a hoot! (Pun very much intended!)

[ysilme]

I'm dying with glee and mirth and the best laugh I had in ages over this!

in this water-resistant 100-page paperback guide.
Comes with a 60-minute CD containing conversations with birds in their natural habitat.

[independence1776]

Oh, goodness! Well, that would be one book I'd get for Mom. Maybe.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Sorry I missed this. I wasn't getting LJ notifications. I am laughing at the idea of your mom reading any of my Fabulous Feanorians' stories!

[nialoke]

"Shut up and listen" - Yes, that sounds like Celegorm XD He did train under Orome, so I'm sure he makes a great wildlife expert!

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for reading my nonsense and leaving a comment! I had fun with this.