The Pastures of Lossarnach by lirin

[lirin_lirilla]

B2MeM Prompt, Card and Number: Poetic Forms - pastoral; Four Words 2 - early, skyline, almost, mask (N42)
Format: poem, drabble
Genre: Poetry
Rating: G
Warnings: n/a
Characters: Original Gondorian woman
Pairings: n/a
Summary: Ioreth's cousin writes about Lossarnach.

My dear Ioreth,

I am sorry I cannot paint a picture of Lossarnach for you to have with you there in the dark city of stone, but I have no way with colors. Instead, I have written you a poem that I hope will remind you of our beautiful valleys. I only wish you were here with me, to watch the sheep and explore the hills.

Your cousin,

Lothiel

---

In early morn, in Lossarnach,
The sun arises out of black
And sets the flowers all aglow
As breezes push them to and fro.

The skyline fills with orange and red,
And from the East a golden thread
Expands until it fills the sky
With lumination from on high.

The shining sun on grass and rock
Almost make me leave my flock.
But chores there are, and food for sheep,
And so my wanderings must keep—

Until 'tis late and dusk's dark mask
Releases me from every task.
Then joyfully, upon the vale,
Through darkness I will find my trail.

Comments

[nienna324]

I love this! It is very evocative of the scene and makes me want to enter into it. It feels windswept and full of color. And I love the short frame story at the beginning, it makes it feel more real and is quite fun.

[lirin_lirilla]

Thank you! Now I want to go to Lossarnach, too. And even though adding a frame story might be cheating on the drabble just a tad, I did like the context it added. :-)

[zdenka]

I like this! The poem has lovely imagery, and I know writing a drabble-poem is difficult.

[lirin_lirilla]

Thanks! I've always wanted to write a drabble poem, especially after I read "The Pirate Queen" from the first Multifandom Drabble. I think I lucked into writing it on easy mode, though—I just started with my chosen meter and stanza size, and the stanzas ended up averaging mid-20s on their own, and the first draft was only around 5 words over. Cutting those out was still way harder than it is in a normal non-metric drabble, though...

[elleth]

Oh, that is a lovely reminder of Ioreth's home! Beautifully done, I love the clip your rhythm has to it. :)

[lirin_lirilla]

Thank you! I chose this meter (iambic tetrameter) because one of the most well-known pastoral poems ("The Passionate Shepherd to His Love") uses it. And as it happens, it worked out at a good length for the drabble. I suspect I would have had to do quite a bit more cutting if I'd chosen pentameter, with 2 extra syllables per line...

[narya_flame]

This is really evocative, and the rhythm works beautifully. Ioreth's cousin was on one of the textual ghost cards today, wasn't she? I was hoping someone would write something for her :-)

[lirin_lirilla]

Thank you! I really enjoyed writing this poem. In a nearly unbelievable coincidence, though, I had absolutely no idea that Ioreth's cousin was on the bingo card for the day! I hadn't even looked at the Textual Ghost cards since I first went through all the cards weeks ago, and I just thought I'd like to set the poem in Lossarnach, and that it should be from the perspective of one of Ioreth's kin rather than Ioreth herself. Now what are the odds of that? :-)

[shirebound]

Very nice!

[lirin_lirilla]

Thank you!

[kayleearafinwiel]

That's really lovely! I enjoyed the poem very much. Ioreth's cousin has a beautiful way with words. *grin* And so do you.

[lirin_lirilla]

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed "her" writing! :-)

[erulissedances]

I loved your description of the sunrise - very evocative.

- Erulisse (one L)

[lirin_lirilla]

Thank you! I enjoyed playing with all the colors that sunrise brings.