Til the End of the Dark, by Suzelle

[suzll.livejournal.com]

B2MeM Challenge: Who exactly are the Elves who greet Thorin & Co as they travel into Rivendell? And what do they get up to when they are not catcalling random Dwarves? OCs are great, as would be cameos from known Rivendell elves. And given the timeline, extra bonus for including Gilraen in your story!

For a little extra inspiration, I have always loved this picture of the scene (the Elves are in the bottom right corner, under the bridge). - zopyrus

Format: poetry
Genre: humor, parody
Rating: Mature
Warnings: General profanities
Characters: Lindir, Original Female Character
Pairing: Lindir/OFC
Summary: The valley is quite jolly in June.
Creator's Notes: Thanks to the author of "Yet Another Lay of Gil-Galad" for looking this over! :) Ravennë the archlutist has been a background charcter in a couple of my Rivendell fics, and I am happy to finally give her center stage.

O! What are you doing,
And where are you going?
Your archlute needs tending!
These verses need mending!
  O! Tra-la-la-lally
    Here down in the valley!

O! what are you shirking,
And where are you lurking?
There’s work that needs doing
But here you are wooing
O! tril-lil-lil-lolly
  the valley is jolly,
    ha! ha!

O! What are you drinking
Whose glasses are clinking
They’re kissing, they’re kissing
What brings sweet Lindir
  And Ravennë dear
    down into the valley
        in June
        ha! ha!

O! Will you be staying
Or will you be fucking
Your corsets are straying
His dick you are sucking
To fly would be folly,
To stay would be jolly
  and listen and hark
  Til the end of the dark
      to your tune
      ha! ha!

Comments

[zopyrus.livejournal.com]

PLEASE TELL ME GILRAEN WROTE THIS ONE.

[suzll.livejournal.com]

HOWEVER DID YOU GUESS :D

[zopyrus.livejournal.com]

And thus begins Lindir's grudge against mortals writing poetry...

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Yes!!! Please!!! "Gilraen, wife of Arathorn II, mother of Aragorn, was known for her poetry and lyrics, among her many other considerable talents." Bilbo Baggins' Annotated Index of Illustrious Residents of Rivendell.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

And now my mind is pondering what her other talents were, if this is an example of her poetry!

[suzll.livejournal.com]

Poetry and archery are her two primary talents, in my book! She is also exceptionally good at cards and cleans out the other Elves on a regular basis...

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

She bakes novelty cakes, of course, maybe not as delicate what the little iced cakes of the Elves. On Lindir's begetting day, for example, she made a cake in the shape of a life-sized hand harp, decorated in colored butter-cream frosting, with red licorice strings. Lindir could not decide if he was pleased or horrified, but for once in his life, held his tongue and simply thanked her politely.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

but for once in his life, held his tongue and simply thanked her politely


He was probably just grateful that she didn't illustrate the last verse of her poem in cake and buttercream....

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Forty years on at this point and I still have not got over Lindir's mouth! People tend to ignore that entirely in fanfiction. I thought he was so rude! Kind of funny rude, but still rude.

[zopyrus.livejournal.com]

I love it! Especially the idea of Gilraen having dirt on Lindir, but using her power to be perfectly, irritatingly nice to him. :)

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

I wonder if I do that in real life? Oh, well. I like Gilraen standing up to all those Elves. (Lindir is an out and bigot in Fellowhip of the Ring.)

[zopyrus.livejournal.com]

Lindir is an out and bigot in Fellowhip of the Ring.

Ugh, I know, right? I can't stand him!

Although I am of two minds about that passage...I think it's possible that he and Bilbo have a history and that his comment is meant jokingly. But it's more interesting to see a nasty Elf (especially in LotR where that is so rare), so I tend to err on the side of your interpretation...

And "kill them with kindness" is a valid approach to problem people, I think--and it's much less likely to rebound horribly than other forms of petty revenge!

[suzll.livejournal.com]

YES OMG i love this!! :D

....tell me not to go add this to Erestor's catalogue...

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

I think it is a little crack ficcish maybe? I need the laughs at the moment.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

I don't want to be a smartass, but were you stone cold sober when you wrote that? I hope this is in the DVD extras, director's cut or whatever. It really would make me feel a lot better about that movie. When PJ has Thorin & Co enter Rivendell, I didn't know how to take it!

I want to write poetry now! You should take that as the highest form of flattery.

OMG! Archlute indeed! I loved that line!

[suzll.livejournal.com]

Stone cold sober, thank you very much! Though I do wish right now that I had some of the wine that they're drinking in the poem...

And thank you! I take it as flattery indeed :).

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Fantastic job on the poetry.

[suzll.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[starbrow.livejournal.com]

This is a decided improvement on the original version, I think! And I love the idea of Gilraen writing this, hooray for naughty humour!

[suzll.livejournal.com]

Heee, thank you!! :D

[ladyelleth.livejournal.com]

*INHALES TEA* I did not expect that last stanza. :P

So that is the meaning behind Lindir and Ravenne being at each others' throats, eh?

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

So that is the meaning behind Lindir and Ravenne being at each others' throats, eh?

There goes my tea, too... :P

[ladyelleth.livejournal.com]

Bahaha, I'm so sorry! *pats* :D

[suzll.livejournal.com]

Muahahahahahahaha :D.

And that is a large part of it, yes!!

[binkaslibrary.livejournal.com]

ohmyfuckinggod!

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

(I don't think I can have a farthing for this comment, LOL!)

[suzll.livejournal.com]

:D thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed!!

[engarian.livejournal.com]

Fabulous and I was just lucky I was a bit distant from my laptop keyboard when I read the last stanza. Bravo!

- Erulisse (one L)

[suzll.livejournal.com]

Whee, thank you!!

[pandemonium-213.livejournal.com]

Can't. Breathe. Send. Help.

*Applauds*

[suzll.livejournal.com]

*bows*

Thank you, m'lady!

[kayleelupin.livejournal.com]

Um. O_O

I think I choked on my Reese's Pieces...ow...that hurt.

The idea of Gilraen writing this...just...wow. Did Arathorn know his beloved lady had this sort of poetry up her sleeve? my lord, does Aragorn know his naneth writes like this?

LOL :P

[zopyrus.livejournal.com]

I'd like to think that when Lindir complains that all mortal poetry sounds the same to him, Aragorn and Bilbo know exactly what he's comparing their efforts to. ;)

[suzll.livejournal.com]

I imagine Arathorn had an inkling, though I doubt she really let loose until she arrived in Rivendell. And I like to imagine that Aragorn finds out, way down the line :P.

[independence1776]

*cackles* This is glorious! I did not expect that last stanza at all.

[suzll.livejournal.com]

:D :D :D thank you!