ext_129503 ([identity profile] suzll.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] b2mem2015-03-17 07:42 pm

"Verses from Hithlum," by Suzelle

B2MeM Challenge: "Maedhros/Fingon, poetry - I really really need a bawdy, hilarious NC-17 rated poem of these two. Yes." [livejournal.com profile] ladyelleth
Format: Poetry
Genre: Humor
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Lots of sex-talk.
Characters: Fingon, Maedhros
Pairings: Fingon/Maedhros
Summary: Fingon misses Maedhros terribly.
Creators' Notes (optional): My immense gratitude to my four first readers (who know who they are). In addition to the prompt, this fic was greatly inspired by [livejournal.com profile] zopyrus's B2MeM 2014 fic, When the Moon Hits Your Eye. Consider this the missing piece, if you will. 

My dearest darling Maitimo
our separation wounds me so
I can't deny, it must be said
I miss you fucking in my bed.

Although I know we've had our trials
(you with your one-handed wiles,
Your limb that I did sadly rob
but still you give a great handjob).

That time you left me for Himring
It does not stop me from rimming
your sweet and quite delicious ass
though some may think me rather crass

They just don't know that pure perfection
is staring right at your erection.
I'd travel through the ice and snow
just so that you and I could blow.

How I pined on the Helcaraxë
Though many bears pursued my tracks (eyyyyyyy)
I stood resolved, I stood quite true
I spent cold nights dreaming of you

Of all the nights you got me off
Just to hear your brothers scoff
And of that time you begged for more
under the trees in Valinor.

And though I wish that we were boning
and I could listen to you moaning
I know we both have obligations,
Must suffer sexual frustrations

For the greater good of all Noldor;
my sexless life is such a chore.
But come and visit Hithlum soon
so that I may grant you a boon

And allieve us both of our sad plight.
We'll have great sex all through the night.
If you came, I'd be behooved.
From Findekáno, your beloved.

dawn_felagund: (cliffhanger)

[personal profile] dawn_felagund 2015-03-18 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
You already know but I want to say here as well that I love this! :D The rhymes ... o the rhymes. I will never hear "Himring" the same again ... ;)

[identity profile] pandemonium-213.livejournal.com 2015-03-18 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
I can imagine a bunch of drunken elves being regaled with this in some tavern or other. Totally, totally hootworthy...and the bears? Can't breathe... :^D

moetushie: Beaton cartoon - a sexy revolution. (elves → tragic gay elves)

[personal profile] moetushie 2015-03-18 01:37 am (UTC)(link)
Eyyyyyyyyyy!

I have nothing else to contribute.
moetushie: Beaton cartoon - a sexy revolution. (Default)

Actually, I'm sure Maedhros prefers blank verse

[personal profile] moetushie 2015-03-18 01:44 am (UTC)(link)
Dearest pervert,
I too wish that I could knock
the stuffing out out of you,
Leave you, breathless,
unable even to utter my name,
Ruined, entirely.
As you have ruined me.
Yes, if I had a choice,
I would leave my cold hill behind,
for the raging furnace of your lust.

Lewd beast. Write more.

I will try not to let Makalaurë see.

RE: Actually, I'm sure Maedhros prefers blank verse

[identity profile] zopyrus.livejournal.com 2015-03-18 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
OH MY GOD, I AM CRYING.
moetushie: Beaton cartoon - a sexy revolution. (Default)

Re: Actually, I'm sure Maedhros prefers blank verse

[personal profile] moetushie 2015-03-18 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
Longform sexts, y/n?

It's not really B2MeM if there's no terrible poetry about. My poetry, I mean. Suz's efforts are deathless, etc.

RE: Re: Actually, I'm sure Maedhros prefers blank verse

[identity profile] zopyrus.livejournal.com 2015-03-18 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
Deathless? I don't know, there seems to be an awful lot of, uh, death happening in both your poetry and Suz's... XD
moetushie: Beaton cartoon - a sexy revolution. (Default)

Re: Re: Actually, I'm sure Maedhros prefers blank verse

[personal profile] moetushie 2015-03-18 03:59 am (UTC)(link)
Only little ones!
moetushie: Beaton cartoon - a sexy revolution. (Default)

Re: Actually, I'm sure Maedhros prefers blank verse

[personal profile] moetushie 2015-03-18 03:10 pm (UTC)(link)
YOU ARE SUCH AN INSPIRATION!

RE: Actually, I'm sure Maedhros prefers blank verse

[identity profile] curiouswombat.livejournal.com 2015-03-18 11:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I was composing a poem from Maedhros in reply in my head - but yours is so much more stylishly done than mine would have been!
moetushie: Beaton cartoon - a sexy revolution. (∞ icant)

RE: Actually, I'm sure Maedhros prefers blank verse

[personal profile] moetushie 2015-03-22 11:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh no, I would love to see your erotic Maedhros poetry! I love to see everyone's erotic Maedhros poetry!

RE: Actually, I'm sure Maedhros prefers blank verse

[identity profile] ladyelleth.livejournal.com 2015-03-22 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
I have a feeling their smutty poetry is the reason Maglor decided he was done with the world and spent the rest of time wandering. It just doesn't scan as well in terms of mythic grandeur if his laments are about his incestuous relatives and their lewd little verses, hence the Noldolante.

Unless that's about the time one of them suffered erectile dysfunction and the rest was lost in translation.
moetushie: Beaton cartoon - a sexy revolution. (∞ icant)

RE: Actually, I'm sure Maedhros prefers blank verse

[personal profile] moetushie 2015-03-22 11:26 pm (UTC)(link)
You know, I'm at least 40-60% sure that erectile dysfunction is one of the less heralds parts of the Doom of the Noldor. Completely ignored in fanfiction, where everyone can get it up/get wet/always has lube/always has lembas-flavored condoms, etc.

[identity profile] pandemonium-213.livejournal.com 2015-03-18 12:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I have nothing else to contribute.

You LIE! *applauds Maitimo's longform sext* :^D

[identity profile] zopyrus.livejournal.com 2015-03-18 02:27 am (UTC)(link)
I am so proud to have even slightly inspired these BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL RHYMES. <3

[identity profile] starbrow.livejournal.com 2015-03-18 06:31 am (UTC)(link)
*laughs so hard she cannot breathe*

This is an utter work of genius! I'm feeling a great need to write some rimming at Himring, now.

[identity profile] binkaslibrary.livejournal.com 2015-03-18 06:59 am (UTC)(link)
:::hat's off:::


LMAO!!! This is bloody brilliant :D
hhimring: Tolkien's monogram (Tolkien)

[personal profile] hhimring 2015-03-18 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)
That rhyme for "Helcaraxe" is particularly cunning!
I cannot imagine what Maglor found to criticize in this masterly work of art and absolutely heart-rending lament.