Tanis, you've written a very imaginative story with strong characters and vivid prose, re:
He stepped back, anger draining away like pissed wine in a gutter, though he attempted to cut off the flow. “To the pits of Thangorodrim with the Rodyn and their Song! Did they sing the rise of Dol Goldur?” His voice rose again, resentment dripping from each clipped syllable, “Did they sing the darkening of my wood? The infestation of Ungollant’s children?” And then fell as the despair of the night washed over him anon. “Did they sing the violent deaths of thousands of us while they created our world, safe in their unassailable fortress in the Deeps of Time?”
That is one powerful paragraph and conveys so much about Thranduil's character throughout this story, that is, his struggles with his own inner turmoil and the tragedy he has experienced. In counterbalance, your Legolas provides the innocence and the honesty of a child.
Then there's Aiollda. She truly fascinates me, and I really like your vision here of her as a guardian of Maiarin origin. It's a very neat concept. Per your reply to ilye above, also have a look at The History of Middle-earth v. I, The Book of Lost Tales I. In that Tolkien wrote:
About [the Valar] fared a great host who are the sprites of trees and woods, of dale and forest and mountain-side, or those that sing amid the grass at morning and chant among the standing corn at eve. These are the Nermir and the Tavari, Nandini and Orossi, brownies, fays, pixies, leprawns, and what else are they not called, for their number is very great: yet must they not be confused with the Eldar, for they were born befoxe the world and are older than its oldest, and are not of it, but laugh at it much, for had they not somewhat to do with its making, so that it is for the most part a play for them; but the Eldar are of the world and love it with a great and burning love, and are wistful in all their happiness for that reason.
I thought of that passage immediately when you introduced Aiolida to me, the reader (I don't read "sprite" in the above as a diminutive creature): a powerful and feral fay. She works very well for me.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2014-04-02 11:18 am (UTC)He stepped back, anger draining away like pissed wine in a gutter, though he attempted to cut off the flow. “To the pits of Thangorodrim with the Rodyn and their Song! Did they sing the rise of Dol Goldur?” His voice rose again, resentment dripping from each clipped syllable, “Did they sing the darkening of my wood? The infestation of Ungollant’s children?” And then fell as the despair of the night washed over him anon. “Did they sing the violent deaths of thousands of us while they created our world, safe in their unassailable fortress in the Deeps of Time?”
That is one powerful paragraph and conveys so much about Thranduil's character throughout this story, that is, his struggles with his own inner turmoil and the tragedy he has experienced. In counterbalance, your Legolas provides the innocence and the honesty of a child.
Then there's Aiollda. She truly fascinates me, and I really like your vision here of her as a guardian of Maiarin origin. It's a very neat concept. Per your reply to ilye above, also have a look at The History of Middle-earth v. I, The Book of Lost Tales I. In that Tolkien wrote:
I thought of that passage immediately when you introduced Aiolida to me, the reader (I don't read "sprite" in the above as a diminutive creature): a powerful and feral fay. She works very well for me.