As attached as I am to other stories in your canon, I think this might be your best.
I agree that it is, as others have noted, nearly overwhelming at times, but the small details are mesmerizing and necessary to give the depth of characterization which you achieve. Too many for me to list them all. The specifics of the torture of Celebrimbor, the condition of his corpse, the entire macabre description of how to move him. And the creepy attempt to honor his best friend and his wife. Just a few more: the Orcs behavior patterns, his use of the men he has recruited, what he would call his determination, his plans within plans, and his ability to have loved and to sacrifice those he loves with such relentless conviction. It's really very terrifying.
I think the hardest hitting part was not even the torture or the movement of the body, but the memory of times past horrified me the most:
Then he was back in Ost-in-Edhil on a winter's night, comfortable and warm in his parlor, his arm over Culinen's shoulders, and hers about his waist while they watched Tyelperinquar standing by the window. His friend held Naryen, so tiny then, who would see four Sun-rounds that spring, her little head of dark curls resting on her cousin's shoulder as he soothed her. A glittering curtain of snowflakes drifted past the glass panes, and lightning flashed, its showiness softened by the snowfall, followed by a fuzzy grumble of thunder.
"There is no need to fear, Mélamírë" Tyelpo said, his voice low and sweet. "It is only Old Man North Wind playing winter's drums. And that is a privilege, for it is not often that we hear Manwë's vassal play his drums when it snows. Perhaps he does so just for you." Then Tyelpo kissed the little girl's brow.
There are so many incredible passages. One more tiny one:
Khalas took no heed, for he stood as mesmerized by Mairon's eyes and voice, just as a bird might be charmed by a snake. "They were cousins, you see. Family. But I must leave that behind now, and you will tell no one of this."
Huinárë's art is excellent. Especially the "snow thunder" one.
You should be very satisfied with this work. Well done!!
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2014-03-19 10:45 am (UTC)I agree that it is, as others have noted, nearly overwhelming at times, but the small details are mesmerizing and necessary to give the depth of characterization which you achieve. Too many for me to list them all. The specifics of the torture of Celebrimbor, the condition of his corpse, the entire macabre description of how to move him. And the creepy attempt to honor his best friend and his wife. Just a few more: the Orcs behavior patterns, his use of the men he has recruited, what he would call his determination, his plans within plans, and his ability to have loved and to sacrifice those he loves with such relentless conviction. It's really very terrifying.
I think the hardest hitting part was not even the torture or the movement of the body, but the memory of times past horrified me the most:
Then he was back in Ost-in-Edhil on a winter's night, comfortable and warm in his parlor, his arm over Culinen's shoulders, and hers about his waist while they watched Tyelperinquar standing by the window. His friend held Naryen, so tiny then, who would see four Sun-rounds that spring, her little head of dark curls resting on her cousin's shoulder as he soothed her. A glittering curtain of snowflakes drifted past the glass panes, and lightning flashed, its showiness softened by the snowfall, followed by a fuzzy grumble of thunder.
"There is no need to fear, Mélamírë" Tyelpo said, his voice low and sweet. "It is only Old Man North Wind playing winter's drums. And that is a privilege, for it is not often that we hear Manwë's vassal play his drums when it snows. Perhaps he does so just for you." Then Tyelpo kissed the little girl's brow.
There are so many incredible passages. One more tiny one:
Khalas took no heed, for he stood as mesmerized by Mairon's eyes and voice, just as a bird might be charmed by a snake. "They were cousins, you see. Family. But I must leave that behind now, and you will tell no one of this."
Huinárë's art is excellent. Especially the "snow thunder" one.
You should be very satisfied with this work. Well done!!