b2mem | Bingo Card, Life Events, pregnancy, I-21

For Bingo Card 'Life Events', Pregnancy, I-21
Format: Ficlet
Genre: drama
Rating:PG
Warnings: none really, rather sad though
Characters: Esmeralda Brandybuck with mention of Saradoc and Merry
Pairings: Esmeralda and Saradoc
Title: Her Only Chick
Summary: Esmeralda's POV on pregnancy.

She was nearly seven months along before she allowed herself to hope. At that point, she felt as if she and Saradoc had been holding their breath for the entire time. What should have been a magical time of planning and dreaming had been a time of worry and fear.

She knew how concerned her dear husband was, though he presented a brave face to her at all times. His words were encouraging and hopeful, but at night when he thought her asleep, she had seen him pacing and once she’d heard him weep. It tore at her heart and she felt such guilt.

There had been three before this one, and none had lived this long. The first time, she had but three short weeks to enjoy the wonderful news, before she lost the little one. The healer had been encouraging, telling her that many lasses lose their first child. It’s not at all uncommon.

She knew this. She’d been raised on a farm and it was also the case with animals. Many lost their first. She’d been heart-sick, but she and Saradoc had both recovered quickly, eager to try again.

The second one had been a little lass. She had come far too soon, barely five months old. That had been the hardest. They had named her in spite of the healer’s suggestion that they not even see the child. The mid-wife understood though, and had helped them prepare the little one. Iris Brandybuck was sleeping under a bed of her namesake flowers now, but Esmeralda thought of her often.

The third had been more like the first. She had just come to know of her condition and then the baby was gone. After that, she’d given up hope. She and Saradoc would have no little ones. Their would be no sweet daughter to help with the baking, nor a son to follow in his Father’s footsteps.

Five years had passed and, she had quickened again. When the healer told her the news, she wept. They were not tears of joy, but bitter tears shed in fear of what would surely come to pass.

In spite of the healer’s urging, she had kept this one to herself for five months hoping to spare her dear husband the pain and worry, only to find out that he had suspected all along. Her nervous manner and restless sleep had given away her secret.
Having passed more than a week beyond her ninth month with the baby inside her kicking like a wild pony avoiding the saddle, she had still worried and refused to discuss names or to plan a nursery.

By some miracle that she did not understand or question, Meriadoc Brandybuck had been born three days later. He entered the world kicking and screaming and ready to be fed. He was a strong, healthy babe and he grew into a happy, mischievous, lad, and then a fine, handsome young adult. He was to be their only chick and he was enough for the both of them, filling their smial with laughter, making them proud, and surprising them at every turn.

He was also a loyal friend and a great one for plans, so she wasn’t altogether surprised to find that he had gone with his older cousin Frodo. She wasn’t surprised, but she was worried. She was heart-sick. She simply could not bear the loss of another child. She couldn’t loose him. Not her Merry. Her only chick.

GW 03-13-2012