Expediency by Dwimordene
Mar. 14th, 2012 12:10 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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b2memB2MeM Challenge: B15: Deep thoughts: immortality; Economy: taxation; Four words: exception, hospitality, sell, publish; Magic and Real: Broad and Alien is the World - Ciro Alegria
Format: Drabble
Genre: Crack strong enough to kill a horse
Rating: M – probably not safe for adults, particularly adults with some sort of respect for the American political process and its players.
Warnings: Political humor of the controversial type at the expense of artistry, RPF, schadenfreude (I admit it), LACE abuse, intense moralism
Characters: OFC, Newt Gingrich
Pairings:* Romney/Gingrich, Gingrich/Santorum, Politicians/Planned Parenthood, Crack/My brain
Summary: This fic brought to you by the 6th Age Elves for a Better Tomorrow on Wednesday. **
Notes: For this to make sense, you really have to know I wrote this drabble.
Expediency
“… so, provided you don’t sell or publish records, Rick’ll introduce legislation favorably altering taxation policies governing entities of this type.”
Aulendis (“Allie” in this Age) endured Newt’s passive-aggressive horse-trading and sweaty anxiety, thinking, Broad and alien is the world of Men! Irony this bizarre made immortality worthwhile, though professional hospitality replied: “Patient confidentiality suffers no exceptions, Mr. Gingrich. Sign here.”
Men and their birth-control issues, she thought later. For Elves, it was simple – just will no children and enjoy! Hence her career: really, she pitied Men.
Though perhaps, she thought, filing the Gingrich-Romney embryotomy under ‘Jane Johns Doe,’ not today…
* No politicians, real or imaginary, were harmed in the writing of this drabble. And though I’m sure half of these guys are in bed with each other and that their policies are abortions of reason, I in no way think such phrases are literal claims, and neither should any of their representatives, fans, or lawyers.
** I love you, Stephen, enough to keep minimal, legal distance between us.
Format: Drabble
Genre: Crack strong enough to kill a horse
Rating: M – probably not safe for adults, particularly adults with some sort of respect for the American political process and its players.
Warnings: Political humor of the controversial type at the expense of artistry, RPF, schadenfreude (I admit it), LACE abuse, intense moralism
Characters: OFC, Newt Gingrich
Pairings:* Romney/Gingrich, Gingrich/Santorum, Politicians/Planned Parenthood, Crack/My brain
Summary: This fic brought to you by the 6th Age Elves for a Better Tomorrow on Wednesday. **
Notes: For this to make sense, you really have to know I wrote this drabble.
Expediency
“… so, provided you don’t sell or publish records, Rick’ll introduce legislation favorably altering taxation policies governing entities of this type.”
Aulendis (“Allie” in this Age) endured Newt’s passive-aggressive horse-trading and sweaty anxiety, thinking, Broad and alien is the world of Men! Irony this bizarre made immortality worthwhile, though professional hospitality replied: “Patient confidentiality suffers no exceptions, Mr. Gingrich. Sign here.”
Men and their birth-control issues, she thought later. For Elves, it was simple – just will no children and enjoy! Hence her career: really, she pitied Men.
Though perhaps, she thought, filing the Gingrich-Romney embryotomy under ‘
* No politicians, real or imaginary, were harmed in the writing of this drabble. And though I’m sure half of these guys are in bed with each other and that their policies are abortions of reason, I in no way think such phrases are literal claims, and neither should any of their representatives, fans, or lawyers.
** I love you, Stephen, enough to keep minimal, legal distance between us.
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no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 06:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 06:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 06:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 10:51 am (UTC)1. This is what I get for goading you, isn't it?
2. Nice...use...of the prompts?
3. Once again, there's no way I can unread this, is there?
Morning's already off to a great start! Well done, Dwim, you've out-cracked us all.
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Date: 2012-03-14 11:32 am (UTC)just will no children and enjoy!: If only! XD
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Date: 2012-03-14 12:43 pm (UTC)2. Thanks!
3. No.
Enjoy your day!
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Date: 2012-03-14 12:43 pm (UTC)Don't you love LACE?
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Date: 2012-03-14 12:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 01:21 pm (UTC)For Elves, it was simple – just will no children and enjoy!
That sounds nice, but I remember it's with one person, forever...
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Date: 2012-03-14 01:26 pm (UTC)While I've never agreed with a lot of LACE's concepts, that one is particularly interesting. :)
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Date: 2012-03-14 01:50 pm (UTC)Depending on your perspective, that might well be a negative!
Personally, I find LACE far more useful as a philosophical treatise that delineates Elves from Men from Valar based on a metaphysics of will and its relation to matter rather than as a sociological report. The former reading helps me tie together and find meaning in some features of Tolkien's stories that I'd otherwise dismiss as being epic for the sake of epic-ness, but the latter I find tends to do little more than inspire pure reaction: either defenses of Tolkien's sociology or criticisms in favor of whatever is opposed to it. *shrug* I don't find that reading particularly interesting or fun, therefore, so I avoid it in favor of using LACE to help me write stories in which Elves are naturally pro-birth control instead of pro-birth. It's in their metaphysical make-up, after all!
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Date: 2012-03-14 02:15 pm (UTC)Definitely a negative for me.*Whistles*To be honest, I tend to avoid thinking about the LACE all together, although I really like your perspective on it! Pro-choice elves, of course, are very welcome indeed.
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Date: 2012-03-14 03:45 pm (UTC)That. Uh. That's some special fic. Is there some sort of award for political MPreg featuring Elf OFCs?
...
Schadenfreude, though. Yesgood. >:D
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Date: 2012-03-14 04:06 pm (UTC)I know, right?
Is there some sort of award for political MPreg featuring Elf OFCs?
Perhaps we could propose that as a new MEFA category? ;-)
Glad you enjoyed, in a schadenfreudische way.
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Date: 2012-03-14 04:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 04:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 06:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 08:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 08:05 pm (UTC)I. LOL
II. Eleven birth control ftw
no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 10:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 10:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 10:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-14 10:21 pm (UTC)*cough* Yes, I'm really not sure where this is coming from, but I suppose that's crackfic for you.
Elves - not bringing children into the world unwillingly since pre-Vatican II.... um...
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Date: 2012-03-14 10:56 pm (UTC)Just "will no children," huh?
*dies of envy*
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Date: 2012-03-14 11:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-15 12:01 am (UTC)