On Death (B4)

[arwen75]

B2MeM Challenge:  Beasty: Cat, Botany:Elanor, 5 Books 5 Characters:Namo, Aspects of Aragorn: Estel & Rangers of the North: Gilraen (B4)
Format: Short Story
Genre: General
Rating: G
Warnings:  None
Characters: Aragorn, Gilraen, mention of Arwen…
Pairings: NA
Summary: Thoughts on life and death
Authors Notes:  A large collection of prompts from all my cards that has been fun to weave into a story – not managed that well with one prompt but I may make up for that at some point. Text in italics taken the Story of Aragorn and Arwen in Appendix A of Lord of the Rings. Not sure where this came from – it just came. Title is poor I know but muse refused to co-operate there...

Aragorn approached the small house that had been his mother’s home since she had left Rivendell soon after he and Arwen had pledged their troth on Cerin Amroth. He wished that Gilraen had been able to see Lothlórien and particularly the pale niphredil and yellow elanor that carpeted the ground especially on Cerin Amroth. Even after more than twenty years, he still remembered Arwen as she had appeared surrounded by the yellow and white flowers. She was his hope for the future as his mother had been the mainstay of his life till now.

Further back he remembered his childhood and his time as Estel growing up as one somewhat lonely boy in the house of Elrond. His mother had been a constant in his life then, although she had given up much to keep him safe – contact with her own friends although she had seen a little of her father as he had taken over as nominal head of the Dúnedain after his father had fallen. Dírhael had been one of the very few entrusted with the secret that Gilraen and her son had survived and were living in secret in Rivendell. Estel had been the name he had born for all his youth and indeed the name that at times still the elves of Rivendell addressed him as.

He had paused long enough in reflection before the doors of the house so he entered and found his mother before the small fire, with a cat curled in her lap. He knelt before her gently caressing her hair. She welcomed him with a smile but said little content to enjoy his presence. Indeed in the few days he spent with her she said very little, spending time just looking after him as she had done for years. He enjoyed her company and that of her constant cat companion who like him seemed to sense there was something that she was dwelling on. It was not until it came to the point of parting that his mother really spoke to him about anything more than trivialities.

“This is our last parting, Estel, my son,“ for she still called him by the name he had born as a child. “I am aged by care, even as one of the lesser Men; and now that it draws near I cannot face the darkness of our time that gathers upon Middle-earth. I shall leave it soon.”

Aragorn held back threatened emotion as he thought about what Gilraen had just said. He had sensed even as he approached that house that there was something this time. He must try to comfort her  and so he said from his heart believing it to be so true and hoping to persuade her to remain yet with him “Yet there may be a light beyond the darkness; and if so, I would have you see it and be glad.”

She answered him with a sad tone saying, “Ónen í-Estel Edain, ú-chebin estel anim.”

He saw in her eyes the finality of her words and so saying nothing more gave her a hug and took his leave trying to fix her beloved face into his heart for ever. For little as he liked it he realised now that this would be the last time he would see his mother. There was so much he had seen in his travels that he wished she had been able to see as well, yet she had seemed happy, first in Rivendell, and then in this small house in the Angle. He took his leave and striding out the house found his horse and left in sad contemplation. He hoped that he would see her again, but he could sense that she felt he would not especially after he parting statement.

It was strange in some ways he knew more about the elvish ideas on death – partially picked up from the very, very occasional comment from Glorfindel who was the only elf he had met who he knew was a Reborn elf. Not that Glorfindel had ever said much, but Aragorn had studied the texts in Rivendell and knew about the Lord of Mandos, the Vala Námo. He knew that elves did not truly die as such – they lost their hröa – but their fëa would go to Mandos for a period of rest before they were reborn and given new hröa. As for men, he knew that death was considered the Gift of Eru Ilúvatar to the Secondborn and that their fëa may pause in Mandos for a while in the Halls of Men, but ultimately they went to where none of elven kindred other than Lúthien had ever gone. That is beyond the Circles of Arda into the very presence of Eru. He wandered if his dimly remembered father would be waiting for his mother there when she passed that way, and indeed if she would meet Lord Námo or not. Indeed he wandered at times what would happen when he himself died – be it in battle or when he chose to accept the gift as had been granted to his ancestors. He believed he would have the same choice should he survive to the natural end of his life.

For now he was trying not to focus on death and the Gift of Men given his sad parting from his mother. He could see that she wanted to accept the Gift and in the end he could not stand in her way. He could wish that she would find hope to see what light lay beyond the encroaching darkness, but her words to him at the end were such that he realised she had no hope left for herself. Maybe her hope was by accepting the Gift so early she would be reunited with her husband and so find the happiness that was torn from her at a young age. He hoped that Lord Námo would see this come to pass and that when he passed on the way that he would find his parents together and full of the joy that they should have had for much longer than the four years they actually had together. That gave him a little hope after the pain of the parting with his mother, so with a heavy heart, but a little less than it was, Aragorn rode on to his duties.

Comments

[lindahoyland.livejournal.com]

A lovely bittersweet story. Titles can be the hardest part.

[arwen75]

When I saw some of the prompts this just came out. I knew I wanted to write about this from the perspective of Aragorn. As I have done so much in this challenge it seems