b2mem | B2MEM 2013 March 3: Not All Tears Are An Evil

B2MeM Challenge: Courage
Format: ficlet
Genre: General
Rating:
Warnings:
Characters: Rushirithir (Balrog of Moria), Lady Nienna
Pairings:
Summary: The continuing adventure of "Rushy" in the West...

Rushirithir followed Lady Nienna back to her mansion on the western wall of the world, overlooking shores of the Ekkaia, the Encircling Sea. The waves washed black beaches, and he stooped down to scoop some of the dry sand into his hands. Hands, he thought wonderingly, considering them as the sand slipped through his fingers. Fingers. He flexed them, cupping his palms around some of the sand. Volcanic glass, he thought, igneous rock, worn down to a dull black intermingled with brilliant sparkles here and there. Fire shaped the rock, but water wore it away.

Water…He shivered as he looked out to sea, trembling at the thought of Lord Ulmo. The Lord of Waters – it had been he who extinguished Rushirithir’s fire, at the last. Olorin had battled him to the death, but it had been the pool of water at the bottom of Zirak-zagil, Celebdil, the Silvertine – it had been the water which had extinguished him as they grappled. Courage…it had taken courage to drag his Little Brother from the water and keep on fighting. Or was it courage? It had been cowardice, and shame, he reflected, not wanting Lord Ulmo to see him and bear tidings of his whereabouts to the other Powers. Courage – no. It had been sheer stubbornness and strength of will, wanting to teach Olorin who was master, that had kept him going then.

“It takes courage to humble oneself, Rushirithir,” Nienna said, as though the Lady had read his mind. Perhaps she had. “It takes courage for one to recognise a fault and strive to correct it…especially to set aside pride and arrogance. Pride goeth before a fall, my son. A very bitter and painful lesson many have learnt.”

Rushirithir bowed his head and knelt in the sand as her words struck the core of his heart. Tears fell, tears which made him cringe in shame, and then he felt the Lady’s arms around him as she knelt by his side.

“None of that, best beloved,” she said firmly. “Honest tears are not a sin, or an evil. They will purify and heal thee, and that is what thou’rt seeking, is it not, my son?”

Rushirithir nodded uncertainly. “Yea…I think so, my Lady.”

“Weep and be comforted, Rushirithir,” Nienna said. “There are none to see but myself and Atar, and He will certainly not censure the emotions He gave to thee. Thou’rt safe with me, my son. Thou’rt made anew, and if any seek to spite or harm thee for the crimes which have been forgiven, I for one shall teach them the true meaning of contrition from the inside out.” Her smile was grim, and Rushirithir shivered, both in fear and awe that one he had sought to spite in his youth would go to such great lengths for him, to love him so well. He would learn all he could from the Lady, Rushirithir decided…including how to face his emotions without fear. That would take courage.