Quiet Ones by Alma Heart

[almaheart.livejournal.com]

B2MeM Challenge: March 1: Courage
Format: short story (2300 wds)
Genre: gen, character study,
Rating: G
Warnings: chronic illness
Characters: OFC, Merry, Halbarad
Pairings: none
A/N: This one is intensely personal.  So please, be gentle on the possible canonical inconsistencies.  I also have never really written Merry before, so I apologize if any of my facts are off on his characterization.
Summary: Courage does not always win wars or change the world

She was a Breelander.  Or used to be, when Merry knew her.  Loud and sharp, but a friendly sort, always willing to set down her work and chat when he snuck out to see her.  She was one of the few bigfolk who moved up the river out of Bree, towards his home, and if he nabbed a raft and snuck across the river, he could go see her.

“Why do the stars move?”

“Because they are all on journeys of their own.”  Patting her great dog on the shoulder, she nudged the beast to his feet, clearing a spot of dirt.  “See, I’ll draw it out for you.”  A discarded stick, still dented from Reese’s teeth, became her implement, and soon star charts danced across the earth before his eyes.

She went back to town a lot and heard all the gossip, and so had all sorts of stories.  It seemed to him like she had been everywhere.

“And what’s east of there?”

“The realm of the Horselords.  A mighty people, loud and bright.  Their horses are the size of the ponies you see in your Shire, only twice as tall, and twice again as fast!”

Merry’s brows shot up, and he grinned.  “That can’t be!”

She laughed.  Stopped to cough a bit, quickly recovered.  “I’ll teach you a bit of their tongue if you’d like.”

“Yes, please!”

When he was a little older, more capable of stealing away without his parents skinning him, Merry came for longer, and followed her on her gathering expeditions into the old woods.  The trees always seemed taller on the Man-ish side of the river.  Dessie moved along briskly, chatting brightly, leaving behind small circular prints as she dug her staff into the path.

“How do you know where you’re going?”

She patted the grooves in the treebark, testing for firmness.  She sold the supplies in town, when she went in.  Apparently some people, too scared to go out and get it themselves, would pay reasonable price for it.  “The sun.”

“And if it rains?”

“The trees.  I recognize them.  See?  That one’s grinning.”

Merry narrowed his eyes and looked at the gnarled stump, trying to turn his head sideways.  “It looks more like it’s frowning to me.”

“No, no.  I’ll show you Frowner later.”

Padding stolidly up the path, Reese watched Merry with inquisitive eyes.   Reese was a massive dog.  Big enough for Merry’s Pa to ride, even, had he been so inclined.  Big and grey and quiet.  Merry never knew where Dessie got him.  Merry reached up to pat his head, and Reese obliged gently, but only briefly.  As Dessie walked up the path, the dog hurried to assume his customary place by her side.

At the crest of the hill, she coughed again, pausing to lean on her staff, breathing deliberately and deeply.  Reese sidled up beside her, and she rested a hand on his back, just above the strap of his little pack.

At length it passed.  She rubbed Reese’s shoulders.  “There’s a good fellow.” Reaching into the leather satchel on the dog’s back, she pulled out a pointed leaf and began to chew on it.

“Just a minute and I’ll be ready to go.  Do you see any chamomile around?  You remember what I taught you about identifying it?”

Merry beamed.  “Yes, I do!”  Seeing a few white petals off to one side, he pattered to check.

Soon, Dessie recovered, and they moved on.

Once, in her younger years, she’d been sick, and it had settled in her chest and never really gone away.  It made her cough, and it made Merry sad.  Dessie told the best stories, and he always felt mildly and inexplicably guilty she broke off to cough.

“What is Bree like?”

“It’s a town.”  Dessie paused to think for a minute.  “Most of the counters are taller than you, my little tween.”  Grinning at the look on his face, she scratched Reese’s back, gaining a lazy tail-wag as she fetched a plant from his satchel to steam in her tea.  “Oh, you might see it someday, Meriadoc.  I think you’d find it interesting, if a bit big.  But there’s no reason you can’t fit somewhere big.”

She insisted on using his full name at least once a visit.  Said someday he would grow into it, and it would be a worthy name indeed.  When he’d learned how to write it, she’d been so pleased, and shown him how she wrote hers.

It would have been easier to live in town.  She had friends there, they came out to do business with her.  Then there could always have been someone nearby if she needed them.  Merry never worried, but Reese did all the time.

But Dessie did not want to.  She said the forest was where she wanted to be, and she’d be a housewife before she let anything get between her and that.  She taught Merry Frowner from Smiler, and where never to go, and where you could climb all the way up to the tippy top and see the sky begin to curve at the edges, as if it were a giant bowl.

And she climbed up with him, Reese with his paws braced on the trunk, leaning up after them, waiting patiently until she came down, ready to brace her if needed.

The sky had never seemed quite so blue, not to so young a hobbit.


He had not been for some time.  Years since his coming of age had taken his world into a whirl.  Yet, still, she welcomed him with the same easiness, and Merry found in moments they were bantering.

It was not until later in the evening, now that he was granted the right to stay where he wanted, when he wanted, that she revealed the reason for her invitation.

“Wait…you’re leaving?”

Dessie smiled gently.  “Yes.  I’m sorry to have to break it so quickly.  It only recently became necessary.”

Merry settled back dazedly onto the steps.  Reese, his tangled beard beginning to whiten now, obligingly came forward to sniff his face, to make sure he was all right. Merry automatically buried fingers in his thick fur.

Dessie sat down next to him, her breath whistling in her throat, and he looked up at her.

She smiled, and wrapped an arm around his head, pulling him into a rough hug.  “Oh, you little tween, you.  Wasn’t that what you were a week ago?  How quickly time flies!  I am so fortunate to have you here to talk to me.  I really mean that, you know.”

“Are you going to be ok?”

She tried to clear her throat, and spoke firmly.  “I don’t know.  I am sick, and it has lately been worse.  I’m going to the doctor, not in Bree, but in another town, to see if there is anything to be done about it.”

Seeing him sad, she straightened him up, ruffling his curls as she had when he was just a child.  “Merry, I am ill.  It is a fact.”  Then she smiled brightly.  “But I am going to do everything I can about that.  A doctor is not a bad thing.”

Merry hesitated.  Then smiled.  “That’s right!”

For the first and only time in his life, he spent that night in her small home, curled up on a makeshift bed in the corner of her tiny room, his hand resting against Reese’s side as the dog slept, ever near his mistress even in slumber.

She left at dawn.  Walking stick on one side, Reese, pack well stocked, on the other.  Merry said goodbye.  Dessie smiled.

When he returned home, he found a letter tucked into his satchel.

Keep your chin up, Meriadoc.  I meant what I said.  You are smart and kind and wonderful, and I am so sorry I must miss the great things you are bound to do.  I will return if I can to mark your progress.  Keep asking questions!  And keep Master Peregrin out of trouble, if you can.

As for me, do not worry.  If this visit does not prove useful, I intend to go to the elves in Rivendel, and seek their aid.  They are the greatest healers in the world.  I will be in excellent hands.

This is serious, yes.  But I am strong.  I will do everything in my power to take care of myself.  I am confident in my own will and in loving support from those who have before helped me, as you have so often impressed upon me I have from you.  So, all things considered, I am the most fortunate woman in the world.

Thank you.  All the best,

Dessellis
_______________________________________________________________________

“Where do you go, madam?”

The woman leaned doubled over on a staff, an enormous grey dog standing braced in front of her, as if to defend, and also so she could lean on his back.  She coughed wetly, and Halbarad was disturbed by the depth of the sound.  She sounded quite ill.

Yet, as she straightened, the woman smiled.  “I am heading for the house of Lord Elrond in Rivendel.”  She took another deep breath, and let it out in a bracing sigh.  “And I mean to get there before nightfall.”

A strange destination indeed, for what seemed to be a simple peasant woman.  Halbarad dismissed suspicion at her obvious illness.  “I know the way, lady.  If you wish, I can escort you there.  Do you require aid?”  He came forward offering her an arm.

She shook her head.  “No, no, I am fine enough, friend.”  She patted the great dog beside her, who appeared to be bearing much of her weight.  Slowly, proudly, she straightened, levering herself up with both supports.  “He is all I need.  He knows his way well enough, it seems.  Or at least never has led me wrong before.”

The grey dog looked up at Halbarad calmly, and he was struck by the deep, benevolent intelligence in the beast’s eyes.  The great white-grey tail wagged once, as if in respectful greeting.  Surely Huan too must have shown such understanding of his mistresses desires.

“Nonetheless, if you will allow it, I’d escort you at least as far as the valley,” he said.  He couldn’t just leave her here.  She did not sound as if she could walk as far as the next oak grove, let alone all the way to the hidden valley.

She smiled.  “Your company would be most welcome.”

He adjusted his steps to her slower pace, and they set off.  Halbarad watched the dog with some curiosity.  Unlike even a guard dog, this beast walked very close beside his mistress, almost pressed against her legs, keeping perfect pace without a hint of impatience, though his strides were much longer.

“Who told you the way to Rivendel?”

“Oh, no one person.  More I have been looking for it, and so I have come to it.”  She went along at an impressive pace for one in her situation.  In fact, her manner was entirely opposite what he would have expected.

“And why do you come here?”

“To seek treatment for my illness.  It is said Lord Elrond is the greatest healer on this earth, and I would ask his aid.”

Halbarad watched her move resolutely onwards.  He weighed speaking, but could not lie.  “I pray he can help you!  But, I fear he may not be able to mend your ills, though he will certainly welcome you after so long a journey.  I do not say this to dampen your spirits, only to caution your hopes.”

She inclined her head.  “Yes.  But nothing ventured is nothing gained.  If there is a chance, however small, I will ask him to try.  I am strong, and have faith in my fortitude.”

Halbarad looked at her, and found her smiling still, patting her dog idly on the head as she fetched a leaf out of the beast’s pack and put it in her mouth.  He could hear her ragged breathing ease a bit as she chewed the plant, but the relief seemed meager.

“And you, friend ranger?  Surely you have some tale to share?”  Though her voice was rough and congested, though she coughed afterwards, she chatted with him easily, and sooner than he would have expected Halbarad found himself speaking easily back, laughing at her wit and her ribald humor.

Soon, they reached the entrance to the Hidden Valley.  Dessellis stopped, looking down at the waterfalls, at the hidden realm of Elrond, and across at the house of her hopes.

She let out a slow breath, and patted Reese’s shoulders as he stood loyally beside her, letting her breathe.  “See it, fella?  There’s a good boy.”

“Do you see the way down?” Halbarad asked softly.  He wished he could accompany her, but his task did not tend towards Rivendell in earnest.

“I do.  I should be fine.”  She patted Reese’s head.  “Do not forget, I have the best escort any could ask.”

“That is true.”  Halbarad bowed.  “I am glad to have walked with you, Dessellis.”

She pressed his hand when he offered it.  “And I, you.  Thank you, Ranger.”

For a long instant, she stood there, looking down at the lovely house far below, the hidden valley revealed in the afternoon sun.  Her, and the far off waterfalls, shared a sort of serene beauty.  Even as her breath rattled in her throat, Halbarad could see no fear in her, hard as he looked.

Then Dessellis smiled.  “Well,” she said to Reese, “Shall we, then?  I would see the valley.”  The dog moved forward with light steps, carrying her as she walked beside him, her hand on his back, plying her walking stick as if she had known this road her whole life.

Halbarad watched until she and her loyal friend reached the concealing trees.  They would reappear on the far off bridge, soon, and enter the realm where she would either heal or die.  Dessellis paused at the very edge of his sight and gave him a jaunty wave.

Halbarad closed his eyes, then and there, and prayed.  Valar, bless her.


A/N 2: This is a tribute to someone I know.  That is why it's a little odd.  Sorry about that.  She is not afraid, and she is going to be in excellent hands.

Comments

[grey-wonderer.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed this very much. The person you do tribute to must be very special. I liked the way you wrote Merry. It seemed fine to me and I read lots of hobbit fiction, in fact, it was the inclusion of Merry that cause me to stop and give this a read.
Thank you for sharing this and where ever your friend is now, I hope she is well. : )

[almaheart.livejournal.com]

I apologize for the late reply. I'm glad you liked it. She is quite special indeed, and she is going strong.

I'm glad you like my Merry. It's quite a compliment coming from you, because I know you are a connoisseur of sorts! :) Thank you for your kind words.

[laguera25.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed this story completely, for what it's worth. It's hopeful and wistful and tender by turns, and I rather think that Elrond might have a miracle in him yet.

[almaheart.livejournal.com]

I am sorry for the lateness of my reply!

Thank you! Your kinds words are worth a great deal. :) Elrond may have one indeed. If anyone can, it's him. Thank you for reading.

[dreamflower]

I like this. I can imagine Merry secretly cultivating a Big Person as a friend, and learning what he could from her and growing fond of her. I like the way you set Dessie up as a possible reason for Merry's interest in herblore, and piquing his interest in the land of the Horselords.

And I can see Halbarad being the one who would escort her and keep her company as she sought Rivendell.

A lovely tribute to your friend.

[almaheart.livejournal.com]

Thank you, dreamflower! Dessie was all too happy to entertain our little hobbit friend, so I'm glad you liked her. I was happy when Halbarad decided to be a gentleman. :)

Thanks. I tried my best, so it means a lot to hear it. And I'm quite sorry my reply is so late.

[shirebound]

What a gentle, unusual tale.

"I have been looking for it, and so I have come to it."

Sometimes it truly is as simple as that. I enjoyed this very much.

[almaheart.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to reply. Thank you so much for reading and commenting, it especially in this case means the world to me. It is quite unusual for me, so it is wonderful to hear you enjoyed it.

[rlaadmin.livejournal.com]

This is a very beautiful story, and I can only hope Dessellis and your friend both are healed. I liked your characterization of Merry very much. It's a lovely idea that he met some like Dessellis as a child. :)) I'm so glad Desselis has Reese at her side. He reminds me of my Deerhound Rory, who was all those things to me while he lived.

[almaheart.livejournal.com]

I apologize for the lateness of my reply. Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words. They're strong, and have a fighting chance. And Reese'll stay with Dessie till the end. Rory sounds like he was a wonderful dog. I'm glad you could see him in mine.

[zdenka]

This was very moving.

[almaheart.livejournal.com]

Thank you. That makes me happy. (Sorry the reply is so late)

[mikononyte.livejournal.com]

Nothing unusual in this tale at all as I can see.
Sometimes, even in fiction, we forget that there had to be gentle days, long walks and talks and yes, dealing with long-term illnesses.
Dessellis, in this small fiction, has touched so may lives. We should all be as strong and caring as she.

[almaheart.livejournal.com]

(I'm sorry my reply is so late.)

I'm glad. I've never written anything quite this cathartic, so I was worried. Thank you for your words, they have made me very happy.

[moetushie]

Dessie seems like a person I would love to know, and I'm glad Merry got to know her. (And Reese!) I was very moved by this -- thank you for sharing it with us!

[almaheart.livejournal.com]

I apologize for the lateness of my reply. Thank you so much for reading this.

I tried to put a lot of confused feelings I had in Dessie. I am so glad you felt something reading about her. You're welcome! Thank you for your kind words!

[lindahoyland.livejournal.com]

I liked this very much and it explained a lot about Merry. Loved your OC and the dog which made me think of the dogs on the puppy cam I follow.

[almaheart.livejournal.com]

Sorry my reply is so late, Linda. Thank you for reading this! It means a lot especially for this piece, and made me very happy.

I'm glad you liked Dessie. I fell in love with Reese while writing this! I'm pleased you liked him, too :).

[hhimring]

A lovely story.
And my best wishes go out to your friend.

[almaheart.livejournal.com]

I apologize for the lateness of my reply. Thank you so much for reading, and for your kind wishes. I believe all will be well, and we shall see.