"Frodo was alive but taken by the Enemy." by Independence1776

[independence1776]

B2MeM Challenge: Wildcard (Athelas)
Format: Non-Fiction
Genre: Autobiographical
Rating: General
Warnings: None
Characters: Frodo, me, the books
Pairings: None
Summary: I thought Frodo would die.

I was a teenager when I first read The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. Like many things I end up falling in love with, my sister encouraged me to read it. Plus, there were movies coming out, and I certainly wasn’t going to see them before reading what they’re based off of. My school library’s copy of The Two Towers had the last page missing. I asked for and received the trilogy for Christmas that year. I reread the first two books-- and promptly stopped reading.

You see, I was convinced Frodo would die, and I didn’t want that to happen. (Even the “Frodo Lives!” mentioned in Peter S. Beagle’s introduction didn’t help.)

It took nearly a year for me to pick up Return of the King. Of course, Frodo didn’t die. But neither did he return unscathed. “The Grey Havens” is still my favorite chapter in LotR. The bittersweet ending fits the story beautifully, and there’s just something about it that speaks to me and breaks my heart.

In the summer of 2004, my sister introduced me to both Tolkien fanfic and The Silmarillion. I would have gotten around to reading the latter eventually. But I literally could not understand why people would write LotR fics; the story had been told. She told me to read one specific fic (which, as far as I am aware, can no longer be found online). I didn’t look back.

There were more stories that could be told. And even though other fandoms may draw me away for a while, I always return to Tolkien. (Though rather than Fourth Age Gondor, my interests now lie firmly with the Silm.)

As for The Silmarillion itself: I fell in love at the Ainulindalë. I love the language, the style, and the sheer scope of the work. My favorite chapter is “Of Beren and Lúthien.” I love their story, and Lúthien is awesome. But my favorite passage is the Doom of Mandos. I adore how it’s written, and it never fails to send shivers down my spine.

I hadn’t expected to love the Silm as much as I do. My sister warned me ahead of time about the language and dissimilarities to LotR. (In fact, while I was buying my second copy of the book-- an illustrated one-- at a used bookstore, the employee at the checkout warned me. I told her it was my favorite Tolkien book.) But something about the book grabbed me. I still don’t know what.

Like the rest of Tolkien’s works, it won’t let me go. I don’t want them to. I wouldn’t be who I am today without them.

Comments

[baranduin.livejournal.com]

Books can affect us so deeply but I have never run into one that has had and continues to have such a profound effect on us as do Tolkien's works. They become a part of us. Thanks for posting!

[engarian.livejournal.com]

There is something about the language in The Silmarillion that is simply musical, one reason why I love that book so much.

- Erulisse (one L)

[independence1776]

I have-- Diane Duane's Young Wizards series, which I found before Tolkien-- but in different ways and for different reasons. But both are a part of me, and I wouldn't be who I am today without them.

[huinare.livejournal.com]

I definitely prefer the Silm also, although I'm liking LotR and The Hobbit more and more all the time--precisely because they can be enjoyed so much more when one has the backstory which the Silm (and UT, HoMe etc) gives us.

[independence1776]

There is. Sometimes, I think it was meant to be read aloud, given Tolkien's influences.

[independence1776]

I'm glad you're liking them better! My Silm preference only barely edges out RotK. (Though I find it harder and harder to read The Hobbit as time goes by. I have to pretend I am listening to someone reading to his children to get through it.) It's the backstory parts *cough*CouncilofElrond*cough* that are some of my favorite passages in LotR now.

[shirebound]

I remember Peter S. Beagle’s beautiful introduction. I wish I still had those editions.

[dreamflower]

Oh mercy! I could never have waited a year to read RotK--I could scarcely wait the few days I needed to for RotK to be turned back in to the library! You are made of stern stuff!

Like the rest of Tolkien’s works, it won’t let me go. I don’t want them to. I wouldn’t be who I am today without them.

I am seeing variations on that phrase so much today! It's wonderful the influence Tolkien's had on his reader's lives.

[independence1776]

They aren't in all of them? That's sad.

[independence1776]

I didn't want Frodo to die, and by not reading, he was still alive! (I'm stubborn. Always have been. Though, looking back on it now, I'm not sure how I managed.)

It's wonderful the influence Tolkien's had on his reader's lives.

Yes, it is. There aren't very many other authors or books I can name that have affected me as much.

[dreamflower]

LOL! Before LotR, my favorite book was Howard Pyle's version of Robin Hood. Since the last chapter was Robin Hood's death, I refused to read it. I never did and never have, and while I haven't re-read that book as much as LotR, I still don't read that chapter.

[tarion-anarore.livejournal.com]

I was totally sure Frodo was going to die too! It's a little funny, thinking back on how heartbroken I was, considering nowadays hobbits are not even my thing. But that is why Tolkien is a master, I suppose!

[zdenka]

I am enjoying all of these personal essays so much. I completely agree with you in loving the beauty of language in the Silmarillion.Through his linguistic studies, Tolkien had access to beauty of writing in so many different languages, and I think there's something of each of them in his works.

[independence1776]

I think so, too.

[independence1776]

Exactly, to everything you said!