Book Blurbs - Who Killed Námo?

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

B2MeM Prompt and Path: abstract (blue path: artwork)
Format: digital art, sketch with written copy
Genre: AU, humor, other
Rating: Gen
Warnings: no warnings apply
Characters: Olwë, Elwë, Námo, Finwë, Túrin Turambar (more will be added as chapters are added)
Pairings: none so far
Creator’s Notes (optional): Chapter 2 – Who Killed Námo - The wacky and wonderful P.I. team of Ingwë, Finwë, and Elwë are faced with their most challenging case yet. Who did not want to knock off Námo?
Túrin Turambar adds another darkly atmospheric and hilarious thriller to his popular The Realm of the Valar mystery series.
Summary: These blurbs are written by a reader who is on the mailing lists of far too many publishing companies. Why not use some of the dozens of prompts of yet another annual B2MeM to design covers or ads, write ad copy, review, or draft summaries of books I would not be likely to write?

Who Killed Námo

Comments

[shirebound]

Bwahaha! Love it!

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Thanks! My intent is to entertain!

[kayleelupin.livejournal.com]

Well, it surely wasn't Atto Fiondil...But he did let Namo get stabbed with a sword, it just didn't take. XD

These book titles and summaries are SO intriguing!!

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

I think it is safe to say his interpretation of Namo was unique.

Thanks for looking and commenting!

[ysilme]

I want to read that! XD Awesome!

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Thanks! These are stories I wish I could write, but never could! This one made me giggle a lot! (Nothing like laughing at one's own jokes.)

[zdenka]

I like that cover design! And now I'm trying to imagine Túrin writing murder mysteries. I feel they would probably be somewhat melodramatic and overwrought, but entertaining. And it would have been a less destructive career for him . . .

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Poor Turin! I was making fun of him. He seems to have had zero sense of humor in canon, but maybe in an AU world with a little less intense of a curse on him....

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

If the book wasn't in fact written by Túrin, I know who my money would be on.

That cover's gorgeous, I love everything about it. If I ever do NaNo again (hahahaha), I'll come beg you to design my cover.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

OMG! Who do you think should have written it? Inquiring minds must know! I admit Turin was kind of random and more because he was ill-suited to it than that he made a good match!

Hey, thanks! I was going for an art-deco heydays' kind of vibe--kind of 1920s-30s mystery genre. I'd love to do a cover for you!

[keiliss.livejournal.com]

Hmm, Orodreth is a possible mystery writer - under a pseudonym, of course. An escape from the pressures of a high powered admin job. But no, I think Túrin is by far the better choice. What would he write though? Cosy Mysteries, where it gets sorted out in the end and they all go off and have a nice cup of rooibos tea, or something with blood and guts and grit?

(you might have given me the only good reason for contemplating NaNo this year :D )

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Cosy Mysteries, where it gets sorted out in the end and they all go off and have a nice cup of rooibos tea

There was too much unprovoked violence and stress in his life.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

Oh how I want to read this now!

[dawn_felagund]

I totally laughed out loud at this! Ingwe, Finwe, and Elwe as PIs ... someone with a sense of humor and a good taste for crackfic could totally run with these.

I don't know, we might hire you to write next year's B2MeM prompts ... *hides*

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

As you well know, I am unemployed and work for nothing!

Thanks. I am glad to make you laugh. These are fun. I am laughing at myself. Much easier than trying to be profound and meaningful! I knew someone in the fandom in earlier years who told me I should stick to Meta and crack fic (thank god, there are fewer passive aggressive people in our fandom these days). Your non-fiction essay earlier today has taken me down memory lane.

[just-jenni.livejournal.com]

Hilarious! But evil too - as if I needed anymore plot bunnies! And I really like the cover - it's very striking.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks, Jenni! I want to know if anyone writes any of these, because I am not going to!

I love book covers in real life or book jackets on hardbacks. One of my favorite art forms. And done badly, they are a really hoot also. One can really get addicted to bad romance or sci-fi covers.

[just-jenni.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. I was actually thinking of writing something humorous if I think I could pull it off. (Now that I'm on a bit of a writing roll I might try something. Your ideas are really good.)

OK listen, I've done a stupid thing. I'm actually sweating about it as I type this.

I volunteered to help with the tagging but haven't done anything yet. Except that when I read this entry of yours I noticed that it wasn't tagged for Format, Genre or Path and I thought I'd go in and add those for you, as per my instructions from the other mods.

However, I seem to have fucked up. (Pardon the language - I don't usually use it.) It looks as if I have wiped out your tags, the Format and Genre tags wouldn't go in and only the Path tag is showing now. I've e-mailed one of the other mods and told her what I did.

I don't blame them if they kick me off the squad and I sincerely apologize to you. Is my face red!!!!

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Don't be embarrassed. I tried to tag my own and I couldn't get them to work and I have been using LJ tags for years. I'm sure someone can show you what the trick is. I just decided I did not need the extra stress at the moment and left mine untagged. [Every time I added an additional tag, the previous one disappeared!]

[just-jenni.livejournal.com]

Yeah! I found out from Zdenka that in the B2MEM LJ comm you must not hold down the CTRL key while listing tags. It's the opposite of every other site I've used, I think. No wonder I couldn't do it either! But now we know so we should be all right.

I know it's because I'm old and I don't know these things! But I can stay on as a tagger, so all is good. :)

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

But I can stay on as a tagger, so all is good. :)

Lucky you! But now that I know the trick, I will have to start tagging my own stuff to be a good community member and not a slacker! Hahaha!

[just-jenni.livejournal.com]

Did I detect an ironic note in that 'lucky you'?

Hey! We want some work to do! Don't be too good a community member on our account. LOL.

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

I bet Námo faked his own death just to finally have people say nice things about him. XD

Hilarious idea! I'd definitely read the Realm of the Valar murder mysteries! (The only reason I read Icelandic murder mysteries is because the PIs sound like they're Tolkien characters! Inspector Erlendur, I ask you!)

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

I bet Námo faked his own death just to finally have people say nice things about him. XD

I absolutely love that idea!

Actually, in real life, I have a big fan of murder mysteries off and on since I was a girl. My parents read them constantly when I was growing up and kept permanent collections of all the classics of the Golden Age of detective fiction of the 1930s, '40s, and '50s. But I never read Icelandic murder mysteries. I will have to see if I can find any in translation.

[oloriel.livejournal.com]

I am actually not all that much into murder mysteries! But I have come to enjoy these Icelandic novels (although, like most Skandinavian mysteries, they're pretty grisly and dark - but the pervading Icelandicness of them is just so fascinating!), and I adore the Oscar Wilde murder mysteries (but then, they're basically Sherlock Holmes, only with Oscar Wilde and Arthur Conan Doyle in the roles of Holmes and Watson). There are exceptions to every rule, I guess!

I've read the Detective Erlendur novels in English, so translations definitely exist! The author's name is Arnaldur Indriðason, the first novel in the series is called either Jar City or Tainted Blood (not sure which is the British and which is the American title, but you'll probably find out).

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

I am not going to start listing mystery novels I have loved because I made a rec list for someone once of my 100 favorites--I think I lost it with a computer crash also! Off the top of my head I think of Dorothy Sayers, Georges Simenon, Eric Ambler, and Janwillem Lincoln van de Wetering as some I read repeatedly. The only ones I have on my Kindle at the moment are a few of Dorothy Sayers and Georges Simenon. But Icelandic is definitely intriguing me!

[bunn.livejournal.com]

Ooh, have you read 'Where the Shadows Lie' by Michael Ridpath?

It's an Icelandic setting with a Tolkien fandom twist. I thought it quite amusing. I mean, it's not Sayers, but worth a read, I'd say.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Ooh, have you read 'Where the Shadows Lie' by Michael Ridpath?

OMG! I'll look that up! Sounds amazing. I've found I do often read mystery novels for the setting and cultural differences. They do not have to be a literary classic to hook me. That's a bonus. I'm not a snob about run-of-the-mill mystery novels. I've read shelves and shelves of them in my life.

[livejournal.livejournal.com]

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[foxrafer.livejournal.com]

The cover art is very cool and I love the idea of a Realms of the Valar mystery series.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

There are a few mystery novels floating around in Tolkien fanfiction, even if it is not the best-known genre in the fandom. But they tend to be set in Middle-earth. Something more shocking about the genre in the so-called "Deathless Land." I am up to my eyebrows in keiliss's WIP novel The Pink Flamingo (https://archiveofourown.org/works/6011812). She's is getting close to the finish on that one!

[foxrafer.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll have to check that out.

[ladybrooke]

I love this one too. :D I'm almost tempted to write one, though it'd be nowhere near novel length....

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

It certainly doesn't have to be novel length. In fact, that might be a pretty big stretch for anyone. I have to call them novels, because I am making book covers and book reviews!

[ladybrooke]

Awesome :D I'm going to add some of them to my to write list than.

[binkaslibrary.livejournal.com]

Oh, he knows a lot about murders, doesn't he ;)

LOL! I love your idea.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks! I am having so much fun with these silly things. The one I'm working on next is not quite as silly and I miss the nonsense already. Turin is a cheap shot--no one is more fun to tease. (I was sort of like the Turin in my family growing up--everything that could go wrong did and I was the butt of all the jokes amongst my siblings!)

[lindahoyland.livejournal.com]

Love the book cover.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much, Linda!

[dreamflower]

What a hoot! I can imagine it would be hard to kill Namo, since he could quickly resurrect himself. It would take a whackie team to solve a mystery in which the corpse wouldn't stay dead, but would only identify his assassin in riddles...

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Oh, Dreamflower! Now that is a challenging story idea. Something like the murder mystery version of Groundhog Day! Thanks! Sorry I did not respond sooner, LJ is not giving me notices with any regularity.

[starbrow.livejournal.com]

What a great cover design, and I laughed so much at the idea of Túrin writing murder mysteries -- it seems to be so suitable for him as a career, rather than causing murder mysteries!

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I am happy you liked the cover. This one is my favorite of all my covers so far. Túrin needs a better way to make a living--the writing of grim thrillers might suit him.

Sorry I did not respond sooner, LJ is not giving me notices with any regularity.

[independence1776]

I love the cover! Tthe idea both made me giggle and want to read it. I would seriously pay money for it.

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks for looking and commenting, Indy. I had fun with these.

[nialoke]

Oh yes, I would definitely read this one. That team of investigators would certainly make for a fun story, and holy stars, Namo is dead? I'm wondering who takes care of the halls now, or are all the dead fear now running rampant? What happens to dead Valar - since they're not supposed to die either, do they get send to their own version of the halls? Does Namo remember who killed him? And since Ingwe, Finwe and Elwe are the P.I.s, does that mean all this is set when the elves still reside in Cuivienen, on the first visit of the trio to Aman? I mean, maybe they got asked to investigate because they're the only outsiders who can be trusted to not be involved, as they weren't yet around when Namo died? ... Okay I'll stop rambling now, but you see I'm really having fun with these. :D

[heartofoshun.livejournal.com]

I can imagine a PI questioning someone: "Do you know of anyone who might have a reason to dislike Namo?"

Thanks for looking at it. I am having fun with these.