The Blackness of Despair

[engarian.livejournal.com]

B2MeM Prompt and Path:Despair, Red
Format:ficlet
Genre:descriptive
Rating:PG
Warnings:Mention of death
Characters:Fëanor
Pairings:None
Creator’s Notes:Tolkien provided the sandbox, I merely play with the bucket and shovel he left behind. No profit of any kind is made from my fanworks.
Summary:Emotion is a powerful thing that can effect actions and reactions. Fëanor, as many others, reacted to emotion, bit it was his reaction to despair that determined his future.



The Blackness of Despair


Fëanor knew joy - they were many. His wedding to Nerdanel, holding each of his sons when they were born, and his many accomplishments in the forge culminating with the making of the Silmarils; all joys brightly painted with yellows and golds against light blue backdrops.

He knew anger directed at his half-brother, sometimes at his stepmother, and the occasional volcanic burst when an apprentice did something that endangered others in the forge. However, his times of anger usually passed swiftly as black storms across a deep blue summer sky.

Only twice in his life had he known true despair. When his mother, Míriel, decided to remain in Mandos' Halls, it had colored his world in tones of dark blue and purple, spattered with the orange of hot anger. Now, looking down at his father's body and the torn doors of the vault wherein he had stored the Silmarils, his heart was overwhelmed with the deep black of despair. Coherent thought fled before the Stygian darkness.

Comments

[mithrial.livejournal.com]

I can easily imagine Feanor would see his moods in colours. 'Synaesthesia', the brightest crossing of the senses.
I wonder if he could taste the blackness of dispair too. Interesting concept.
A thought provoking ficlet.

[(Anonymous)]

I have Synesthesia as well, and I love the way that it is described in this story, if that is what the author is conveying. Sometimes I don't taste the feelings or the colors, but when I do it's subtle. Like acidic, sour, and so on.

[engarian.livejournal.com]

Over the years I have written about alternative methods of seeing, tasting, hearing many times. Synaesthesia is phenomenal. I did a piece for the SWG Challenge this month with their theme "Revolution" where I have Maglor as a young child describing his music in colors because I've always felt that the best musical pieces are actually artistic paintings. Thank you for your words.

- Erulisse (one L)

[starbrow.livejournal.com]

Wonderful! I can see all this emotion swirling around him, from times of happiness and love, to times of anger and pain, to times of black despair. It makes a lot of sense for who he is as a person, to be able to sense emotion this way.

[engarian.livejournal.com]

I wanted to convey the build-up - how his anger and despair could have led to the plethora of really poor decisions that followed the death of Finwe and taking of the Silmarils. I'm so happy that it worked for you!

- Erulisse (one L)

[shirebound]

Well done.

[engarian.livejournal.com]

Thank you! *hugs*

- Erulisse (one LO

[kayleelupin.livejournal.com]

Oh nettenya, this is so sad :( You capture Feanor's anger and despair very well indeed!

[engarian.livejournal.com]

Although Feanor makes me angry, I actually love so much of him andalso understand a great deal because I an a metalsmith and work with fire and metal. It's such a great ocean of talent that got damned up by hatred. A tragic waste.

Thanks *hugs*

- Erulisse (one l)

[lindahoyland.livejournal.com]

I don't like Feanor much but you made me feel for him here.

[engarian.livejournal.com]

Nobody is just black and white and even Feanor can tug on heartstrings. Thanks for your comments, my dear.

- Erulisse (one L)

[just-jenni.livejournal.com]

This is such good prose that it's almost poetry. I love the use of so many colors to describe Feanor's emotions.

[engarian.livejournal.com]

It's the artist in me coming to the forefront, but I also think it's the artist in Feanor, because you can't describe the man without also describing the maker. Thanks!

- Erulisse (one L)