Can I Help You?
Mar. 13th, 2019 03:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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b2memB2MeM Prompt, Card and Number Witty Banter, Cotton Candy Fluff and I20; First Date, Relationship Bingo and N42
Format: Ficlet
Genre: Humor/Modern AU
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Swearing
Characters: Thranduil, Bard
Pairings: ThranduilxBard
Creator’s Notes: I will leave it up to B2MeM mod’s (and readers) if this qualifies for witty banter and first date. :D
Summary: Shopping at an actually store can sometimes result in getting more than originally intended.
The bell above the door jingled as Thranduil pushed through it and into Bowman Sporting and Goods. Thranduil had driven or walked past this store a million times and never once entered. No reason to do so. He shopped like any sane person did - online.
But Legolas was on him about “support small businesses; buy local.” How could he argue with that? So instead of buying Las his fletches off his usual provider (the soul sucking, money hungry, corporate monster, as Las called them), he was now wandering amongst outdoor gear and clothing. Do they even carry fletches? He wondered.
“Can I help you find something?” A man’s voice asked.
Thranduil jerked in surprise, he hadn’t heard the man come up behind him, which annoyed him. Another reason he shopped online; NO sales people trying to “up sale” him. He turned to tell the man he was just looking and instead blurted, “I’m Thranduil!”
He groaned mentally, real smooth. But he hadn’t been prepared for the hunky man in front of him. Another mental groan, had he really just used the word "hunky"? Gods…he was so lame.
The man grinned. “Nice to meet you Thranduil, I’m Bard.” He held out his hand and they shook hands. Bard’s smile was cheeky as he added “No offense but you seem a little lost.”
Thranduil wasn’t really listening, he was shamelessly checking out Bard. The dark, longish hair, the strong body, lovely hazel eyes and just slightly scruffy facial hair that had Thranduil thinking less then wholesome thoughts.
“Seeing anything you like?” Bard asked, brow arching, lips quirked. That snapped Thranduil out of his ogling. Bard’s eyes sparkled with wicked amusement. Thranduil needed to get himself under control.
“You know when you say “but” it negates whatever comes after.” Thranduil replied, “So you were you trying to imply I don’t know my way around a store?”
“My apologies, I am sure you are more then…capable…” Bard’s eyes swept Thranduil up and down, “of finding what you want…” Bard said as he moved closer.
Thranduil swallowed. Holy crap, Bard flirting with him! Bard bit his lip and looked at him expectantly.
Oh yeah...wait? What was he here for again? Las’s fletches! Damn, he needed to get a grip.
“I am needing fletches, do you carry any?”
Bard’s eyes lite up. “You’re an archer?”
Thranduil shook his head. “No, not in years, my son is though.” Bard stepped away, his smile slipping a bit more towards the “professional” Thranduil quickly added, “He took it up in earnest after my wife passed away, she was an avid competitor, and he is following in her footsteps, I think he has what it takes to make it to the Olympics…”
Shut up, shut up, SHUT THE FUCK UP! Thranduil chanted to himself as he babbled. Why was he blurting all this out? Bard was going to bolt any minute and Thranduil wouldn’t blame him on bit.
“That’s great!” Bard exclaimed in delight, then his face dropped in horror, “I mean, not your wife passing away, I mean your son’s accomplishment, I’m a pretty fine bowman myself, not to brag or anything…” Bard blushed and cleared his throat in sudden awkwardness. “Umm…maybe we could get together and have a friendly competition some day?”
“He would like that.” Thranduil said and softly added, “I’d like that too.”
“You would?” Bard’s hopeful tone made Thranduil’s stomach flip.
“Yeah,” Thranduil hesitated. Oh what the hell, just go for it he told himself. “I wouldn’t mind seeing you flex those arms.”
Bard’s surprise at that comment lasted only a moment before a sly smile appeared. “Well then, let’s get those fletches and set up a date… an archery date that is.” Bard winked at Thranduil.
“Agreed. And I think we should go over to The Green Dragon and hammer out the detail, what do you say?” Thranduil proposed.
“I say, I’ll see you there at five thirty and we can see about setting up other dates...”
“Oh, I have a feeling we are going to have a lot to discuss, now show me what you got…” Thranduil winked.
“With pleasure.” Bard chuckled and offered his arm to Thranduil, who linked his arm with Bard’s.
Thranduil leaned in to whisper in Bard’s ear, “I like the sound of that, lead on my good archer!”
The End
Format: Ficlet
Genre: Humor/Modern AU
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Swearing
Characters: Thranduil, Bard
Pairings: ThranduilxBard
Creator’s Notes: I will leave it up to B2MeM mod’s (and readers) if this qualifies for witty banter and first date. :D
Summary: Shopping at an actually store can sometimes result in getting more than originally intended.
The bell above the door jingled as Thranduil pushed through it and into Bowman Sporting and Goods. Thranduil had driven or walked past this store a million times and never once entered. No reason to do so. He shopped like any sane person did - online.
But Legolas was on him about “support small businesses; buy local.” How could he argue with that? So instead of buying Las his fletches off his usual provider (the soul sucking, money hungry, corporate monster, as Las called them), he was now wandering amongst outdoor gear and clothing. Do they even carry fletches? He wondered.
“Can I help you find something?” A man’s voice asked.
Thranduil jerked in surprise, he hadn’t heard the man come up behind him, which annoyed him. Another reason he shopped online; NO sales people trying to “up sale” him. He turned to tell the man he was just looking and instead blurted, “I’m Thranduil!”
He groaned mentally, real smooth. But he hadn’t been prepared for the hunky man in front of him. Another mental groan, had he really just used the word "hunky"? Gods…he was so lame.
The man grinned. “Nice to meet you Thranduil, I’m Bard.” He held out his hand and they shook hands. Bard’s smile was cheeky as he added “No offense but you seem a little lost.”
Thranduil wasn’t really listening, he was shamelessly checking out Bard. The dark, longish hair, the strong body, lovely hazel eyes and just slightly scruffy facial hair that had Thranduil thinking less then wholesome thoughts.
“Seeing anything you like?” Bard asked, brow arching, lips quirked. That snapped Thranduil out of his ogling. Bard’s eyes sparkled with wicked amusement. Thranduil needed to get himself under control.
“You know when you say “but” it negates whatever comes after.” Thranduil replied, “So you were you trying to imply I don’t know my way around a store?”
“My apologies, I am sure you are more then…capable…” Bard’s eyes swept Thranduil up and down, “of finding what you want…” Bard said as he moved closer.
Thranduil swallowed. Holy crap, Bard flirting with him! Bard bit his lip and looked at him expectantly.
Oh yeah...wait? What was he here for again? Las’s fletches! Damn, he needed to get a grip.
“I am needing fletches, do you carry any?”
Bard’s eyes lite up. “You’re an archer?”
Thranduil shook his head. “No, not in years, my son is though.” Bard stepped away, his smile slipping a bit more towards the “professional” Thranduil quickly added, “He took it up in earnest after my wife passed away, she was an avid competitor, and he is following in her footsteps, I think he has what it takes to make it to the Olympics…”
Shut up, shut up, SHUT THE FUCK UP! Thranduil chanted to himself as he babbled. Why was he blurting all this out? Bard was going to bolt any minute and Thranduil wouldn’t blame him on bit.
“That’s great!” Bard exclaimed in delight, then his face dropped in horror, “I mean, not your wife passing away, I mean your son’s accomplishment, I’m a pretty fine bowman myself, not to brag or anything…” Bard blushed and cleared his throat in sudden awkwardness. “Umm…maybe we could get together and have a friendly competition some day?”
“He would like that.” Thranduil said and softly added, “I’d like that too.”
“You would?” Bard’s hopeful tone made Thranduil’s stomach flip.
“Yeah,” Thranduil hesitated. Oh what the hell, just go for it he told himself. “I wouldn’t mind seeing you flex those arms.”
Bard’s surprise at that comment lasted only a moment before a sly smile appeared. “Well then, let’s get those fletches and set up a date… an archery date that is.” Bard winked at Thranduil.
“Agreed. And I think we should go over to The Green Dragon and hammer out the detail, what do you say?” Thranduil proposed.
“I say, I’ll see you there at five thirty and we can see about setting up other dates...”
“Oh, I have a feeling we are going to have a lot to discuss, now show me what you got…” Thranduil winked.
“With pleasure.” Bard chuckled and offered his arm to Thranduil, who linked his arm with Bard’s.
Thranduil leaned in to whisper in Bard’s ear, “I like the sound of that, lead on my good archer!”
The End
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Date: 2019-03-13 11:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-13 11:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-03-14 01:52 am (UTC)- Erulisse (one L)
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Date: 2019-03-14 03:55 am (UTC)