The Lay of Leithian according to the Fëanorians, by Robinka

[binkaslibrary.livejournal.com]

B2MeM Challenge: zhie’s prompt: PWP with glitter somewhere in it.
Format: poetry/song.
Genre: parody.
Rating: adult.
Warnings: cursing; bawdy humor; implied sex and masturbation.
Characters: Celegorm and the choir of the Fëanorian brothers.
Pairings: implied Beren/Lúthien (ideally Celegorm/Lúthien ;) but nobody’s perfect).
Creator's Notes: this is probably the silliest thing I’ve ever written, so beware.

Apologies go to Professor Tolkien for profaning “The Lay of Leithian” and to Robert Plant and Jimmy Page for butchering their “Stairway to Heaven”. Those original lines with * to them weren’t changed at all because they fit (pun intended).

Thank yous go to dawn_felagund for the extra speedy beta and her great suggestions. Thank you! :)

This is dedicated to all the Silmarillion heretics in the world :)

Summary: Imagine, the Fëanorian gang sitting around a campfire, eating, drinking, and when mead goes to the head, Maglor thrums on a harp, and Celegorm, still pining for Lúthien in his own fashion, begins...

( There’s this elf-wench who stole... )

"Khamûl's Sulfurous Exfoliants" by Independence1776

[independence1776]

B2MeM Challenge: When the Dark Tower is thrown down and the Dark Lord defeated, the Eight, leaderless, find themselves out of work. In order not to die of boredom (can the undead die, anyhow?) they start up a business in Sulfurous Exfoliants. Who would their customers be? How well would their business thrive? Would they be allowed to remain within Mordor, or have to take their custom elsewhere?
Format: Short story
Genre: Crack. Complete and utter crack.
Rating: General
Warnings: None
Characters: Khamûl, Ringwraiths, cameos of other canon characters
Pairings: None
Creators' Notes (optional): My version of the Faire; not authoritative.
Summary: After the Ring War ends, Khamûl and the rest of the Nazgûl open an exfoliant business. In order to expand it, Khamûl decides to open a stall at Tharbad’s Greenway Spring Faire.

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