Holes for Sale by The Wavesinger

[the-wavesinger.livejournal.com]

B2MeM Challenge: Smials. Hobbit holes. Round doors and round windows, grass on top, roof-trees, gardens filled with flowers; cosy comfort inside, sitting rooms with warm hearths, kitchens full of good smells and pantries laden with food. Grand warrens like the Great Smials or Brandy Hall, modest manors like Bag End, or humble holes like Number Three Bagshot Row dreamflower02

Format: Art (though advertisement would probably be more apt)

Genre:

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Characters: N/A

Pairings: N/A

Creators' Notes (optional): Warning: First attempts at handiwork in a Very Long Time.

Summary: Smials for gentlehobbits; all necessities provided.



01. The date 1271 was chosen because Gerontius Took's many children would have started having their own children by then, and Great Smials, which was built by Isengrim (the third, I think, but my copy of RotK is currently with a friend so I'm not sure) would have been overcrowded.

02. Another reason is that there seems to have been a population explotion around that time.

Comments

[dreamflower]

LOL! I love it! The real estate business must have been frustrating in the Shire. Except for when there was such a population explosion, there probably was not a lot of moving among hobbits!

It sounds like an excellent dwelling! I'd put an offer myself if I could!

[the-wavesinger.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you like it. I think there would have been a market for ordinary homes, but not for smials of the superior class that Mr. Morrows is offering :D.

Feel free to, Mr. Morrows still hasn't made up his mind!

[lindahoyland.livejournal.com]

What a great advertisement. What Hobbit could resist such a lovely hole I wonder? Great fun.

[the-wavesinger.livejournal.com]

Thanks :).

[kayleelupin.livejournal.com]

Oh, oh! Me, me! I want one! :D :D :D Yay!

[the-wavesinger.livejournal.com]

Ask away, offers are still open :D.

[kayleelupin.livejournal.com]

I DREW A SMIAL TO GO WITH YOUR ADVERTISEMENT :D :D :D :D :D

[the-wavesinger.livejournal.com]

*squeals and flails some more* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THAT IS AMAZING!

[kayleelupin.livejournal.com]

YAY YOU'RE WELCOME I AM SO VERY GLAD YOU LIKE IT :D :D :D *Squeals and flails right back*

[tanis2014.livejournal.com]

Gentle Morrows,

I would be interested in negotiating for this most excellent appearing smial. However, I have a few questions:

What size are the bedrooms? Large enough for a lady's boudoir assemblage? Would there be a possibility of tunneling through to adjoin two of the chambers, making one large one? The missus is adamant that her furniture be adequately accommodated you know.

She is also anxious to make a tour of the kitchen and pantries prior to any final purchase commitment. And if you could possibly extend your courtesy to include a list of the fruit trees in the orchard you mentioned, she would be ecstatic.

yours in good faith,
Hardy Diggers

[the-wavesinger.livejournal.com]

My Dear Sir,

There is certainly room enough in one bedroom for your lady's furniture, as the rooms are extremely spacious. Any modifications you wish to make, however, can easily be accommodated, provided that the cost is added to the final price.

If you could name a time which is convenient for you and your wife, I would be most obliged to show you the smials. I assure you it will be amenable.

The fruit trees in the orchard are apple, orange, and pear. Furthermore, we also grow melon and passionfruit vines.

However, I beg you to undertake this keeping in mind that I have not come to a final decision. If you could name your price, I would be most happy to consider your offer.

Yours in good faith,
Bungo Morrows.

[rhymer23.livejournal.com]

Deer Mister Morrows,

Is it essenshul that the purchiser is a gentilhobbit? My gaffer was a humbel but honnest turnip grubber so Im not what you posh folks call gentil. My gaffer wanted me to be a turnip grubber like him but I ran away Breewards and now Ive come back after twenty yeers rich. I got my money from entirely honnest meens. I have lots of mathoms and silver spoons and jools and I have to carry them all in bags but the wall to wall shelfs would be perfeck for my needs. Althow Im not gentil yet Im getting there. I dont eat off the knif any more and always yuse napkins. I think hobbits shoud be judgd by deeds not birth. I woud love to live next to all the gentilhobbits with there silver spoons and jools on shelfs.

yours sinceerly
Sandy Meadows

[the-wavesinger.livejournal.com]

Sir,

I, too, believe that a hobbit should be judged by their deeds and not by their birth, as my father was a simple butcher. However, I beg to warn you in advance that the neighbourhood is not what one would call 'fine', although all the hobbits who live in the surrounding are are fine, upstanding people who do credit to the Shire.

I would be happy to consider your offer if you name a price that is amenable to us both. The transaction would be considered only under the condition that all coinage provided was obtained entirely by honest means.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours in good faith,
Bungo Morrows.

[rhymer23.livejournal.com]

Deer Mr Burrows

I am AFRONTED at your implicashun that my coins are not honnestly obtained. All my coins and jools were obtained by my own hard labour during dark and dangerus nights. I cant name a price since I cant count proper due to not having advantagies of Birth - something I hope you will understand and simpathise with - but I can load three whole wheelbarrows with coins and jools and deliver them to you and I hope that sufisies sufices.

Yours
Sandy Meadows

P.S. Your advert does not menshun how secure the windows and lockses are. Please let me no.

[the-wavesinger.livejournal.com]

Sir

I do not mean to offend, but in this day and age, you can never be too careful, as I am sure you will understand. There are all kinds of nasty folk tramping about The Shire, and I apologize for presuming you are one of them. But you must understand that I would not have anything to do with strange going-ons.

The windows and locks are extremely secure, but if you wish to make any alterations if you buy the smials, you are welcome to do so.

I have mentioned, however, that I have not made any decision regarding the sale yet, and that still stands. However, if I do accept your offer, I am sure that two wheelbarrows is more than plenty!

Yours in good faith
Bungo Murrows

[starbrow.livejournal.com]

Lovely! I'd love to live in a hobbit hole!

[the-wavesinger.livejournal.com]

So would I...

[tanis2014.livejournal.com]

My Good Morrows,

I see there is another interested party looking to purchase this property. The wife was most insistent, after you kindly return as regards the bedroom sizes and the fruit trees (plus vines! She is in alt over the addition of the vines) that we make an agreement as soon as possible. I can assure you our gold has been in the family for generations, and we're ready, willing and able to meet any price you set.

Name the time and we will be over immediately to settle the deal.

Your faithful servant,
HD

[the-wavesinger.livejournal.com]

Sir,

An agreement cannot, of course, be reached without viewing the property! Would the 29th of this Halimath after noon be too early for your convenience? (I am still considering both offers, however. I hope that is not a problem.)

Yours in good faith,
Bungo Morrows.

[tanis2014.livejournal.com]

The 29th? THE 29TH? Oh my, oh my! The spouse will be unbearable if we must wait until the 29th. No no, she is most adamant she is to have this smial, she has seen the pictures of Mistress Kaylee and made up her mind on the spot.

Oh my dear Master Morrows, I beg of you, for the sake of my sanity, if it would not greatly inconvenience you, may we meet with you this very afternoon. I will not have MOMENT'S peace until this deal is done. I tell you, Master Morrows, if you do not have a wife, do not get you one. They are a capricious lot and prone to hysterics at the drop of a hat. Though they do make life much more comfortable on the whole. And cook like the Ainur.

Dear me dear me, whatever will I do if you turn us down?

Yours in hope,
Hardy Diggers

[kayleelupin.livejournal.com]

(Mistress Kaylee does not wish to interrupt Master Diggers' and Master Morrows' correspondence, but Mistress Kaylee is greatly delighted that Mistress Diggers so admires her picture :D)

[the-wavesinger.livejournal.com]

Sir,
My recently-departed father's will has been discovered, and he has left me his smial, which is similar to the one you wish to buy. If you want to, you could see both and decide which is preferable.

If you are able to, today would be most convenient!

Thank you,
Bungo Morrows

[blslarner.livejournal.com]

Oh, but I wish to move in myself! Heh!

[elleth]

Beautiful calligraphy, Wave! It even looks Hobbit-ish! <3