Holes for Sale by The Wavesinger

[the-wavesinger.livejournal.com]

B2MeM Challenge: Smials. Hobbit holes. Round doors and round windows, grass on top, roof-trees, gardens filled with flowers; cosy comfort inside, sitting rooms with warm hearths, kitchens full of good smells and pantries laden with food. Grand warrens like the Great Smials or Brandy Hall, modest manors like Bag End, or humble holes like Number Three Bagshot Row dreamflower02

Format: Art (though advertisement would probably be more apt)

Genre:

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Characters: N/A

Pairings: N/A

Creators' Notes (optional): Warning: First attempts at handiwork in a Very Long Time.

Summary: Smials for gentlehobbits; all necessities provided.



01. The date 1271 was chosen because Gerontius Took's many children would have started having their own children by then, and Great Smials, which was built by Isengrim (the third, I think, but my copy of RotK is currently with a friend so I'm not sure) would have been overcrowded.

02. Another reason is that there seems to have been a population explotion around that time.

Comments

[rhymer23.livejournal.com]

Deer Mister Morrows,

Is it essenshul that the purchiser is a gentilhobbit? My gaffer was a humbel but honnest turnip grubber so Im not what you posh folks call gentil. My gaffer wanted me to be a turnip grubber like him but I ran away Breewards and now Ive come back after twenty yeers rich. I got my money from entirely honnest meens. I have lots of mathoms and silver spoons and jools and I have to carry them all in bags but the wall to wall shelfs would be perfeck for my needs. Althow Im not gentil yet Im getting there. I dont eat off the knif any more and always yuse napkins. I think hobbits shoud be judgd by deeds not birth. I woud love to live next to all the gentilhobbits with there silver spoons and jools on shelfs.

yours sinceerly
Sandy Meadows

[the-wavesinger.livejournal.com]

Sir,

I, too, believe that a hobbit should be judged by their deeds and not by their birth, as my father was a simple butcher. However, I beg to warn you in advance that the neighbourhood is not what one would call 'fine', although all the hobbits who live in the surrounding are are fine, upstanding people who do credit to the Shire.

I would be happy to consider your offer if you name a price that is amenable to us both. The transaction would be considered only under the condition that all coinage provided was obtained entirely by honest means.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours in good faith,
Bungo Morrows.

[rhymer23.livejournal.com]

Deer Mr Burrows

I am AFRONTED at your implicashun that my coins are not honnestly obtained. All my coins and jools were obtained by my own hard labour during dark and dangerus nights. I cant name a price since I cant count proper due to not having advantagies of Birth - something I hope you will understand and simpathise with - but I can load three whole wheelbarrows with coins and jools and deliver them to you and I hope that sufisies sufices.

Yours
Sandy Meadows

P.S. Your advert does not menshun how secure the windows and lockses are. Please let me no.

[the-wavesinger.livejournal.com]

Sir

I do not mean to offend, but in this day and age, you can never be too careful, as I am sure you will understand. There are all kinds of nasty folk tramping about The Shire, and I apologize for presuming you are one of them. But you must understand that I would not have anything to do with strange going-ons.

The windows and locks are extremely secure, but if you wish to make any alterations if you buy the smials, you are welcome to do so.

I have mentioned, however, that I have not made any decision regarding the sale yet, and that still stands. However, if I do accept your offer, I am sure that two wheelbarrows is more than plenty!

Yours in good faith
Bungo Murrows