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b2memB2MeM Challenge: ..a folktale or fairytale (Crossover 1), Helm's Deep (Alternate Viewpoints).
Format: ficlet
Genre: general
Rating: G
Warnings: um...smoking is bad for you, kids?
Characters: Merry, Pippin, Saruman, Treebeard
Summary: Helm's Deep/Destruction of Isengard meets the Indian tale of "The Tiger, the Brahmin, and the Jackal."
Note: I'm not sure if many are familiar with the original folktale, but I attest it is made of awesome.
––––––––––––-–-–-––––––––––--–starring–––––––––––––––––––-–––––--
The Brahmin as MERRY & PIPPIN (yes, both, we used a lot of bluescreen)
The Tiger as SARUMAN
The Tree as THE SQUINT-EYED SOUTHERNER
The Elephant as THE CRABAN
The Water Buffalo as FLADRIF
The Jackal as FANGORN
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––-
There lived two hobbits, decent and honest folk, called Merry and Pippin. It happened that Uruk-Hai beset them and brought the two hobbits to their master, the wizard Saruman, who paced in the tower of Orthanc.
When the hobbits were searched and it was found that neither bore the Ring which the wizard sought, Merry said, “Saruman, perhaps you might let us go now. Here, have some pipeweed in exchange for our freedom.”
Saruman promptly claimed the pipeweed and began puffing happily on an obsidian pipe; yet, for all that, he laughed wickedly. “Are you a dotard, hobbit? Why should I release two prisoners who may yet be of use to me?”
“I, well, I gave you pipeweed,” protested Merry. “It’s only fair.”
Saruman considered this and said, “Very well. Go forth from this tower and ask the first three things you meet whether I should let the two of you go free. Then return hence, and I shall proceed according to their advice.”
So Merry and Pippin went out from the Ring of Isengard. The first thing they met was a squint-eyed southerner. They told the man their tale, and then they asked: “Do you think Saruman should keep us imprisoned in his tower?”
The squint-eyed southerner frowned and answered, “I’ve brought plenty of pipeweed to Saruman. I’ve spied for him in uncouth northern lands. And what gratitude do you think he’s shown me? None at all, I tell you. Yet I daren’t break with him because he frightens me.”
“That’s terribly said,” said Pippin, “but what about us?”
The squint-eyed southerner threw his hands up. “What do you think? Gratitude and justice are fools’ dreams, and they have nought to do with the real world. Go back to Orthanc. Saruman has won unfair and square.”
The hobbits grew somewhat downcast now, but they continued on their way until they met a craban sitting on a boulder and preening its shiny black feathers. They told their story to the craban and asked its opinion.
The craban croaked hoarsely, “The wizard raised me from a hatchling. He bids me and my kinsfolk spy out the lands and carry messages for him. We are not our own masters. Few are in this world.”
“Well, that’s a mite depressing, to be sure,” said Pippin, “but what about us?”
The craban flapped its wings emphatically. “Saruman was clever enough to capture you. It is his prerogative to keep you in Orthanc if he wishes.”
Now the hobbits were rather astounded, but they kept walking until they met an old Ent called Fladrif standing at the edge of a clearing of felled trees. To the Ent they also told the story, and they asked what he thought.
Fladrif gave a sigh like wind through the branches, and he replied, “When the world was new, I rambled over the lands that lie now long beneath the wave, and the Entwives were with us, and we were glad. Now our time is over, and metal and wheels displace green and growing things.”
“Truly a poignant tragedy,” said Pippin, “but what about us?”
Fladrif sighed again, still more profoundly. “The world changes. One cannot stay the flow of time. Your world has changed into a cell in the tower of Orthanc, no doubt.”
The two hobbits were disheartened and very distressed. But, being honest folk, they turned to go back to Orthanc as ordained by the first three things they had encountered.
As they trudged along the road, they met another Ent called Fangorn. And Fangorn said to them, “Hoom, why are you walking toward Orthanc with this drooping look about you? Surely you know the White Wizard lives there, and he cares for nothing that lives.”
So, for the last time, Merry and Pippin told their tale, explaining that the honest thing to do was to return to the Orthanc. Fangorn hoomed and thought about this for an Entish minute, and the sun was sinking below the trees when he commented:
“Well, you hobbits seem to be guileless folk, so of course you must return to Orthanc as you agreed you would. But first, would you mind keeping an eye on my huorns for a time? They have been needing a walk, and the Ents and I are busy with…other matters tonight. After you have taken the huorns on a walk, they shall bring you right back to Isengard.”
The hobbits were none too eager to return to the tower and Saruman. So they agreed to carry out this task. Fangorn set them in the branches of a study tree, and the tree began to move. It moved south at a very brisk pace, along with thousands of other trees.
“How do you think we steer these huorns?” Pippin asked Merry, but neither knew. So they rode along until the huorns came by night upon a deep grey cleft in the mountains, with a grim grey fortress at the back of it. The huorns stopped and crowded across the entrance to the cleft. The hobbits could not get them to move; and so they sat through the night while the fortress lay under siege in the distance. There were rains, and fires, and explosions. Then at dawn, the hobbits woke to the sound of horses and horns. They saw Orcs fleeing into the crowd of huorns. Strange and unsettling noises came from below the branches, and the hobbits dared not look down.
At last the huorns turned and went back north of their own accord. Merry and Pippin grew downcast again as they drew nearer to Isengard. But when they got there, they found the walls and the gates in ruins.
Fangorn came to them then and told them, “Now that you have returned with the huorns, let us take you back to Orthanc.” And he put the hobbits on his shoulders and waded into the mysterious waters that had appeared in the Ring of Isengard. Fangorn stopped at the foot of the tower stairs and called out, “Saruman, I fear I prevailed upon your guests to run an errand for me; but they are back now, safe and sound, having returned like honest hobbits. Come out and get them.”
Saruman, trapped now in his tower for fear of Fangorn and the other Ents, stuck his head out of the window and hollered bitterly, “I have no more use for hobbits! Begone!”
And so it happened that those who rode with King Théoden came to the gates of Isengard to find Merry and Pippin, who had learned much of the cunning of both foe and friend, enjoying a few well-earned comforts.
Format: ficlet
Genre: general
Rating: G
Warnings: um...smoking is bad for you, kids?
Characters: Merry, Pippin, Saruman, Treebeard
Summary: Helm's Deep/Destruction of Isengard meets the Indian tale of "The Tiger, the Brahmin, and the Jackal."
Note: I'm not sure if many are familiar with the original folktale, but I attest it is made of awesome.
––––––––––––-–-–-––––––––––--–starring–––––––––––––––––––-–––––--
The Brahmin as MERRY & PIPPIN (yes, both, we used a lot of bluescreen)
The Tiger as SARUMAN
The Tree as THE SQUINT-EYED SOUTHERNER
The Elephant as THE CRABAN
The Water Buffalo as FLADRIF
The Jackal as FANGORN
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––-
There lived two hobbits, decent and honest folk, called Merry and Pippin. It happened that Uruk-Hai beset them and brought the two hobbits to their master, the wizard Saruman, who paced in the tower of Orthanc.
When the hobbits were searched and it was found that neither bore the Ring which the wizard sought, Merry said, “Saruman, perhaps you might let us go now. Here, have some pipeweed in exchange for our freedom.”
Saruman promptly claimed the pipeweed and began puffing happily on an obsidian pipe; yet, for all that, he laughed wickedly. “Are you a dotard, hobbit? Why should I release two prisoners who may yet be of use to me?”
“I, well, I gave you pipeweed,” protested Merry. “It’s only fair.”
Saruman considered this and said, “Very well. Go forth from this tower and ask the first three things you meet whether I should let the two of you go free. Then return hence, and I shall proceed according to their advice.”
So Merry and Pippin went out from the Ring of Isengard. The first thing they met was a squint-eyed southerner. They told the man their tale, and then they asked: “Do you think Saruman should keep us imprisoned in his tower?”
The squint-eyed southerner frowned and answered, “I’ve brought plenty of pipeweed to Saruman. I’ve spied for him in uncouth northern lands. And what gratitude do you think he’s shown me? None at all, I tell you. Yet I daren’t break with him because he frightens me.”
“That’s terribly said,” said Pippin, “but what about us?”
The squint-eyed southerner threw his hands up. “What do you think? Gratitude and justice are fools’ dreams, and they have nought to do with the real world. Go back to Orthanc. Saruman has won unfair and square.”
The hobbits grew somewhat downcast now, but they continued on their way until they met a craban sitting on a boulder and preening its shiny black feathers. They told their story to the craban and asked its opinion.
The craban croaked hoarsely, “The wizard raised me from a hatchling. He bids me and my kinsfolk spy out the lands and carry messages for him. We are not our own masters. Few are in this world.”
“Well, that’s a mite depressing, to be sure,” said Pippin, “but what about us?”
The craban flapped its wings emphatically. “Saruman was clever enough to capture you. It is his prerogative to keep you in Orthanc if he wishes.”
Now the hobbits were rather astounded, but they kept walking until they met an old Ent called Fladrif standing at the edge of a clearing of felled trees. To the Ent they also told the story, and they asked what he thought.
Fladrif gave a sigh like wind through the branches, and he replied, “When the world was new, I rambled over the lands that lie now long beneath the wave, and the Entwives were with us, and we were glad. Now our time is over, and metal and wheels displace green and growing things.”
“Truly a poignant tragedy,” said Pippin, “but what about us?”
Fladrif sighed again, still more profoundly. “The world changes. One cannot stay the flow of time. Your world has changed into a cell in the tower of Orthanc, no doubt.”
The two hobbits were disheartened and very distressed. But, being honest folk, they turned to go back to Orthanc as ordained by the first three things they had encountered.
As they trudged along the road, they met another Ent called Fangorn. And Fangorn said to them, “Hoom, why are you walking toward Orthanc with this drooping look about you? Surely you know the White Wizard lives there, and he cares for nothing that lives.”
So, for the last time, Merry and Pippin told their tale, explaining that the honest thing to do was to return to the Orthanc. Fangorn hoomed and thought about this for an Entish minute, and the sun was sinking below the trees when he commented:
“Well, you hobbits seem to be guileless folk, so of course you must return to Orthanc as you agreed you would. But first, would you mind keeping an eye on my huorns for a time? They have been needing a walk, and the Ents and I are busy with…other matters tonight. After you have taken the huorns on a walk, they shall bring you right back to Isengard.”
The hobbits were none too eager to return to the tower and Saruman. So they agreed to carry out this task. Fangorn set them in the branches of a study tree, and the tree began to move. It moved south at a very brisk pace, along with thousands of other trees.
“How do you think we steer these huorns?” Pippin asked Merry, but neither knew. So they rode along until the huorns came by night upon a deep grey cleft in the mountains, with a grim grey fortress at the back of it. The huorns stopped and crowded across the entrance to the cleft. The hobbits could not get them to move; and so they sat through the night while the fortress lay under siege in the distance. There were rains, and fires, and explosions. Then at dawn, the hobbits woke to the sound of horses and horns. They saw Orcs fleeing into the crowd of huorns. Strange and unsettling noises came from below the branches, and the hobbits dared not look down.
At last the huorns turned and went back north of their own accord. Merry and Pippin grew downcast again as they drew nearer to Isengard. But when they got there, they found the walls and the gates in ruins.
Fangorn came to them then and told them, “Now that you have returned with the huorns, let us take you back to Orthanc.” And he put the hobbits on his shoulders and waded into the mysterious waters that had appeared in the Ring of Isengard. Fangorn stopped at the foot of the tower stairs and called out, “Saruman, I fear I prevailed upon your guests to run an errand for me; but they are back now, safe and sound, having returned like honest hobbits. Come out and get them.”
Saruman, trapped now in his tower for fear of Fangorn and the other Ents, stuck his head out of the window and hollered bitterly, “I have no more use for hobbits! Begone!”
And so it happened that those who rode with King Théoden came to the gates of Isengard to find Merry and Pippin, who had learned much of the cunning of both foe and friend, enjoying a few well-earned comforts.
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